Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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This week, we talked about how listening without giving advice is good for your relationships. Here are a variety of articles on how to improve your listening skills.

How to Be a Better Listener in Your Relationship “The foundation of successful communication is being able to truly listen to each other, without “constructing a counter argument in your head,” says Michael Batshaw, LCSW, a licensed clinical social worker and relationship expert. In other words, the first step to being a better listener to your partner is to actually listen to learn from them, not to respond to them.”

7 Ways to Improve Communication in Relationships “We love connecting with other people because it makes us happy—good communication is the key when it comes to positive social interaction. But what does a healthy conversation look like? How can you avoid over-communicating? And how can you improve communication in a romantic relationship? Read on for a summary of some important models and theories in the field of communication.”

What Is Active Listening? “Active listening is a communication skill that involves going beyond simply hearing the words that another person speaks but also seeking to understand the meaning and intent behind them. It requires being an active participant in the communication process. In communication, active listening is important because it keeps you engaged with your conversation partner in a positive way. It also makes the other person feel heard and valued. This skill is the foundation of a successful conversation in any setting—whether at work, at home, or in social situations.”

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This week, we wrote about how conscious intention can lead to peace in your relationships, and have found some interesting articles that explore and reinforce this idea.

How to Co-Create a Conscious Relationship: 3 Spiritual Practices “For us, a conscious relationship is accessed any moment we decide to exist as two wholes sharing a path. It’s a state we feel when we: are responsible for own happiness and “stuff”; see each other through compassionate eyes; create space for honesty, accountability, and vulnerability; and, accept and appreciate one another for who we are (without trying to change each other). The predominant feeling generated by this state of consciousness is joy, peace, love, and empowerment.”

Love vs. Fear “Kübler-Ross argues that all other emotions exist under these two primary emotions: either an emotion comes from a place of fear or a place of love. These core emotions underlie every other emotion we have. Love and fear are opposites. Love breeds positive emotions like joy, peace, and satisfaction. Fear breeds negative emotions like anger, guilt, and sadness. Love and fear cannot coexist. As opposites, love and fear cannot be felt at the same time.”

Conscious Listening: How listening to understand can lead to relationship and life success “Active listening is a great way to start focusing more on when, where, how, and why people say what they say with the objective of improving communication and relationships. Conscious listening takes it to the next level. While you will still be reaping the same benefits that you would from active listening, such as improved communication and relationships, with conscious listening, you’ll also gain a greater capacity to truly understand whoever you are listening to.”

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This week, we wrote about how your relationships can be a dynamic force for spreading peace. Here are some sources with ideas for how you can do that.

How to Find Inner Peace by Resolving Conflicting Feelings “One of the more difficult challenges of being human is the difference between us and ourselves. So many conflicting feelings and thoughts can be churning within us at any given time. For instance, you can be truly happy for a friend who just found the love of her life, and also be a little miffed that she no longer has time for you—and that you still haven’t found your perfect relationship. Or you can be thrilled about the great job promotion that you’ve worked hard to achieve, yet also feel guilty that you’ve been working too many hours and missing your kids.”

Inner Peace through Inner Ease “There are many helpful suggestions and paths for creating peace. More people are realizing that peace is first an “inside job.” At HeartMath, we have found that creating inner peace often starts with practicing what we call “inner ease”. HeartMath founder Doc Childre developed a science-based “Inner Ease” technique to help people experience living more from a state of ease.”

Ten ways you can promote peace “1. Develop your understanding of the frames of mind that promote conflict and violence against another group: a) The perception that another group threatens our well-being b) A sense of uncertainty about our safety and security c) The belief that our own group is superior to another group.”

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This week, we wrote about how to create peace in relationships and life by knowing your core values. These articles share a variety of ways to define core values and suggest how to find yours.

6 Ways to Discover and Choose Your Core Values “Life presents an endless series of decisions, large and small, that require you to make difficult choices. While many factors are involved, the critical factor in deciding may be your core values. These values tell you what kind of person you are, or want to be, and provide guidelines, or even imperatives, for your actions. But how do you know what your core values are? This blog post will reveal six ways to discover and choose your core values.”

5 Ways Your Core Values Impact Your Life “They are the reason why we do what we do, even if we’re not consciously negotiating our decision-making with values at the forefront. Don’t believe me? Here are five ways they are impacting your life and if you’re married, your relationship with your spouse.”

Live Your Core Values: 10-Minute Exercise to Increase Your Success “How are you showing up at work? In your personal relationships? For yourself? How you show up in the world is determined by your core values. It doesn’t take years of self-reflection to uncover your core values. This simple exercise can help you determine them so you can start aligning your personal goals with them. How long will it take? About 10 minutes, well worth the investment!”

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This week, we wrote about using your voice and saying what you want and need in your relationships. Here is some good advice on how to overcome your inhibitions and find your voice.

The Courage to Speak Your Truth ~ 5 Steps to Reclaiming Your Voice “This may be you… At some point in your life you made the decision that it was no longer safe to speak your truth. In your early years, speaking up led to a scolding from your parents, or worse. Their censure caused pain and engendered a belief in you that speaking up would create even more pain. This belief compelled you to withhold and question your voice from then on.”

How to Say What You Want in Your Relationship “In my 30 years working with couples, I’ve noticed that most people have an easy time describing what they don’t want in their relationship. If prompted, they’re able to rapidly fire off the many issues that they feel are creating distance between them and their partner. Yet, if I ask the same people what they do want in their relationship or from their partner, it seems to catch them off guard.”

How To Find & Speak Your Voice In Your Relationship “Ultimately, finding and developing your voice is about taking responsibility for who you are, your identity, your values, what you care about and the battles that you deem worth fighting in your relationship. It’s understanding the vision you have for your relationship, the impact you want to have in your relationship, understanding what your partner cares about and what you need to master in order to connect fully with your partner.”

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