Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

By Posted on Posted in Core Values, Peace, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating No Comments

In this week’s blog, we wrote about why matching values are important for your relationships. These articles cover a wide spectrum of ways to look at values.

What Should You Look For In A Partner? Here’s How To Figure Out Your Core Values In Relationships, According To Experts “As we each navigate the ups-and-downs of our love lives — from meet-cute to breakup and back again — we’re constantly learning more about ourselves, what we want in life, and what we value in relationships. Over time, everyone develops their own unique set of core values: fundamental beliefs that influence how we conduct ourselves in all aspects of life, including our romantic relationships.”

Love and Values “Acting on feelings no doubt got you into a love relationship. Continuing to act on feelings will almost certainly get you out of it… On a routine basis, feelings are about temporary variations in comfort, convenience, pleasure, and status. Values, on the other hand, are stable over time and ultimately supported by a sense of character. While feelings create temporary importance, values give enduring meaning and purpose to life. Feelings may forge committed relationships, but values sustain them. The power of love comes not from its feelings but its values.”

Value (ethics) “Values relate to the norms of a culture, but they are more global and intellectual than norms. Norms provide rules for behavior in specific situations, while values identify what should be judged as good or evil. While norms are standards, patterns, rules and guides of expected behavior, values are abstract concepts of what is important and worthwhile. Flying the national flag on a holiday is a norm, but it reflects the value of patriotism. Wearing dark clothing and appearing solemn are normative behaviors to manifest respect at a funeral. Different cultures represent values differently and to different levels of emphasis”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about how to live peacefully in the midst of all the turmoil in the world. Here are some other voices with sage advice.

How to Live in Peace WikiHow is a collaborative site like Wikipedia that, despite its appearance, often has very good peer-reviewed articles. “Living in peace is about living harmoniously with yourself, others, and all sentient beings around you. While you will find your own meanings of peaceful existence and outward manifestations of a peaceful life according to your beliefs and lifestyle, there are some basics underpinning living in peace that cannot be overlooked, such as being non-violent, being tolerant, holding moderate views, and celebrating wondrous-life.”

How to be Calm and Peaceful Under Difficult Circumstances “It’s not easy is it? Keeping our mind focused, especially in the midst of challenges or difficult circumstances. So how do we do that throughout the difficulties life can and far too often does bring? Learning how to focus our mind to be calm and peaceful is very important and often can determine our success both in the outer physical and inner spiritual world.”

7 Ways To Feel Content With Your Life Right Now “Contentment, or the state of being content, is about peaceful satisfaction. It involves appreciating what you have and where you are in life, rather than wishing things were different. Of course, I’m not saying you should simply settle for a life that doesn’t bring you joy. Rather, you should continue to dream big, set goals for yourself, and work towards them diligently – just remember to enjoy the journey and not rush to make it happen.”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about how we retain peace of mind during these turbulent times. The keys are recognizing each other’s individuality and accepting that completely. Here are some articles describing how to do that.

Preserving Individuality to Strengthen Your Relationship “To maintain a successful relationship it is necessary that both people maintain their own individuality and respect the individuality of their partner. Each is concerned with their own and their partner’s continued development as a person. In my book, Daring to Love, I write about achieving this by remaining adult, open, undefended, and honest in your interactions. I also discuss the importance of regarding your partner as a sovereign individual, separate from you and your relationship.”

How to Accept Someone for Who They Are in a Relationship “One of the ways to a healthy and successful relationship is genuinely accepting your partner for who they are. However, most couples fail to recognize this fact because they are either too busy looking for perfection or too occupied focusing on their partner’s flaws. If you’re currently facing the same challenges in your relationship, don’t worry. This article will help you figure out different ways to help you overcome them.”

Accepting Differences Between You and Your Partner “I was thinking about acceptance the other day and was realizing that this is a practice that might take a long time to get good at, especially when we are talking about relationships. You see, all of us pretty much like who we are. We like how we think, how we behave and act. We like our ways. And many of us get really perturbed when our partner doesn’t agree with us. They might do something different than what we learned growing up. Or they might like something arranged differently then how we prefer. They might even say things we would never say.”

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This week in our blog we suggested looking at the good as well as the bad and the ugly. None us us need to be reminded of the grim state of the world. Climate change, Covid-19 and now protests. Here are some articles to help with this.

Why Is Beauty Important to Us? “Humans have engaged with the concept of beauty for millennia, trying to define it while being defined by it. We asked a group of artists, scientists, writers and thinkers to answer this simple question: Why is beauty, however defined, so important in our lives? Here are their responses.”

5 Practices to Help You Thrive in Difficult Times “Thriving is our birthright. So now, more than ever, it’s critical to do what we can to build our capacity to be resilient. In times of great uncertainty, we must learn to navigate a parallel path that enables us to have wings in the air and feet on the ground. This means having the vision that enables us to see the beauty and compassion that’s unfolding around us so we don’t lose hope, while also staying grounded so we’re ready to take the actions necessary to manage whatever comes our way.”

To Control Your Life, Control What You Pay Attention To “One of the best insights on what true productivity means in the 21st century dates back to 1890. In his book The Principles of Psychology, Vol.1, William James wrote a simple statement that’s packed with meaning: “My experience is what I agree to attend to.” Your attention determines the experiences you have, and the experiences you have determine the life you live.”

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This week’s blog discussed how to hear what is being shared with you and the best way to respond. Here are some articles with other ideas on how to do this.

9 Ways to Be There for a Friend, Without Giving Advice “Some years after my decision to divorce, I thanked my parents for not pressuring me one way or the other on the “stay-or-go” issue. Making that hard decision myself really forced me to grow, I told them. My dad replied, “We knew there would be pain whether you got divorced or didn’t. And we knew you had to choose that pain for yourself.” That was the best advice I ever got—and it wasn’t exactly advice.”

How To Give Good Advice (By Giving No Advice At All) “Being understood and accepted is a fundamental element of the human condition and one of the most meaningful ways to feel this is by being listened to. While it might sound simple, properly listening to someone is a real art. What’s even harder than giving someone your full attention, is not putting yourself into their situation through unwanted advice. So, how do we provide support for the people in our lives and ensure they are feeling understood and accepted?”

Stop Trying to Fix Things, Just Listen! “Regardless of whether you’re a woman or a man, everyone needs both emotional support and practical help. Neither one is right or wrong, better or worse. The trick is knowing what is needed at any given moment and finding the right balance of listening and helping. Those are the hard things. But it’s possible for couples to find that balance using the skills of insight, mutuality, and emotion regulation.”

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