Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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This week, we are returning to writing about some of the basic principles that make our relationship a peaceful, conflict-free one. Here are some of our blogs that cover the key aspects of this topic.

How to Find Mutual Solutions and Avoid Conflict “We often talk about having a conflict-free relationship. What do we mean in this instance? Conflict, as we define it, is something that causes estrangement and the feeling of distance between people. Conflict is believing there are two opposing sides; it is feeling angry, afraid, defensive, hurt, attacked, betrayed, unheard, misunderstood. Disagreement is different. It’s when you don’t agree on something, but there is no rancor.”

Why You Need Unconditional Acceptance in Your Relationship “We have discovered that unconditional acceptance of your partner is a baseline for a peaceful relationship. Being treated with total acceptance calls forth a markedly different response in most all of us. When you know that you are not going to be attacked or criticized, an amazing feeling of true peace and calm settles within you and you feel free to be who you truly are and to share this within the relationship, without any fear of reprisals or rejection.”

What is the Importance of Core Values in Your Relationship? “Whether you’re developing a relationship or have been in one a longer time, core values are the foundations on which relationships are built. In order to practice the art of relating as we share it, you must have matching core values. These must match in deeds and not just in words. How you enact these values in your day to day existence will vary from your partner’s, sometimes considerably, but they must be the same in their essence. There has to exist a basic harmony between you in your approach to people and the world.”

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In this week’s blog, Maude writes about how she is coping in these turbulent times. Here are some articles on how people around the world are doing, and some advice on handling life with the Coronavirus.

RESILIENCE: Coping During COVID-19 “Feeling apathetic and exhausted lately? Prefer to crawl into bed instead of getting on another video call? You’re not alone! Living through a mass event like COVID-19 means experiencing emotional highs and lows, and these don’t always remain consistent. Research shows that there is a pattern that emerges when communities experience a major disaster. The graphic below might look familiar. At the beginning of the pandemic we experienced moments of joy and heroism, as residents clapped for healthcare workers from their balconies and showed up in unprecedented ways for one another. We saw our community join forces to face this challenge head on. Physiologically, our bodies responded with an increase of endorphins as we came together urgently to fight a crisis. But six months later, it’s likely we’ve entered the disillusionment phase.”

Coping with coronavirus around Colorado | Your personal stories “The coronavirus pandemic has left us all in uncharted waters, with no horizon in sight. But with businesses and schools closed, national pastimes on hold, and the traditional flow of life ground to a halt, one thing’s for sure: We’re carrying on. With new worries and “social distancing” habits, but also with new perspectives and priorities. We’re sharing several of your personal stories.”

Coronavirus: Your lockdown stories revisited “When the world began to shut down to try and control coronavirus, we interviewed many of you to see how you were coping. Now, we’ve gone back to ask: how did you change during lockdown, and what did you learn?”

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In this week’s blog, Phil explores the exceptional stresses of the time and how he deals with them. Here are some good articles on how to cope with changes.

Coping With Change “Change is inevitable. Sometimes it can be positive – business growth or a pay raise. At other times it can be painful – losing your job or a personal loss. Often the hardest changes to understand and adjust to are the ones that are unexpected and out of our control – a recession, a global pandemic, or a major disaster, for example. Changes of this magnitude can be difficult to come to terms with, but you’ll often find that your experience of them can be made better or worse depending on your reaction and your attitude. So, in this article, we’ll explore the different ways in which people tend to approach change, the reactions that you might have, and how to best cope with it.”

How to Be Hopeful, Even When It’s Really, Really Hard “In times like this (not that I can name another time like this), it feels impossible to maintain any sense of hopefulness or optimism about the future. Not only is it a challenge to imagine any future in a world where things are constantly changing, but it’s especially tough to think—let alone expect—a future in which things are actually somewhat positive. But, as uncomfortable as it may feel, pushing ourselves to imagine that better future may be a crucial way for us to maintain some semblance of mental well-being—now and whenever that beautiful future does arrive.”

Dealing with Uncertainty During the Coronavirus Pandemic “Uncertainty is all around us, never more so than today. The current COVID-19 pandemic has heightened uncertainty over the economy, employment, finances, relationships, and of course, physical and mental health. Yet as human beings, we crave security. We want to feel safe and have a sense of control over our lives and well-being. Fear and uncertainty can leave you feeling stressed, anxious, and powerless over the direction of your life. It can drain you emotionally and trap you in a downward spiral of endless “what-ifs” and worst-case scenarios about what tomorrow may bring.”

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We’ve been asking our readers how they have been coping with the pandemic, and this week, we published the third and final selection. We’ve checked online, too, and here are some more views on how people are managing.

Quarantine has changed us — and it’s not all bad “But the pandemic has changed us. Although being on lockdown has been pretty grueling on balance, the surprise is that many of us have realized there are some things about quarantine life that are worth preserving. We’re questioning the very fundamentals of the “normal” we’d all come to unthinkingly accept — and realizing we don’t want to go back, not to that.”

Coronavirus: The good that can come out of an upside-down world “Our world has changed immensely in the last few weeks but amid the upheaval and distress, there are reasons to believe we can emerge from the crisis with some human qualities enhanced, writes Matthew Syed.”

How to come out of the pandemic as your best self ever “It’s strange how something so disruptive, so novel, was so widely labelled with a cliché. As we’re constantly reminded, the pandemic is our “new normal.” That is, our old way of life has been replaced with another one – one that’s getting old fast…“Our routine was totally thrown on its head,” says Andrews. “I think everybody now is starting to feel like, ‘I can’t maintain this. What do I need to do to actually feel good?’” How often do we pause to think through that question?”

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Two weeks ago, we wrote about how to transcend today’s turmoil with inner peace. We ended the blog by asking “What is it that you do? What refreshes your spirit? What brings you peace?” and published our readers’ responses. Here are some more articles about the issue of turmoil, including from earlier times.

3 Easy Ways to Avoid Stress, when the World is in Turmoil “During times of global crisis, it is wise to reassess our individual positioning in life, so we don’t get needlessly swept away by fear and negativity. Since the world seems to be entering a new stage of upheaval, let’s talk about some ways to maintain a peaceful center, and stay grounded and happy.”

Coping with Fatigue, Fear, and Panic During a Crisis “Late last week, we gave a presentation to about 20 chief medical officers from health care systems around the country. I began by asking them to share a sentence or two about how they were feeling, personally. Over the next half hour, their answers spilled out in a torrent.
“Exhausted, overwhelmed, and anxious.”
“I’m feeling fearful and fatigued.”
“Frustrated and dismayed.”
“The current workload is not sustainable.”
We are dealing with two contagions — the virus itself and the emotions it generates.”

Maintain your center in this time of turmoil. A brain perspective of why it’s important and how to do it. “Our world is changing, and it will never be the same. How are you coping, and how would you like to cope? What are your dangers, and what are your opportunities in this time of change? What strengths would you like to grow, and how will you do that? We need to be proactive on all levels of our being ~ physical, emotional, mental and spiritual, and you need the right tools to thrive and change with the times. With the right tools you and your family will come out of this stronger than ever, but without the right tools you risk flailing and suffering more than you need too.”

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