Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationships, Sex, Successful Relating No Comments Tagged with , ,

In this week’s blog, we wrote about how sexuality can unify body, mind and spirit. Here are some articles commenting about different aspects of this topic.

5 Signs You’re In A Highly Sacred Relationship “On some level, every relationship is sacred as it holds opportunity for us to grow. However, there’s something distinct about the intimate relationship shared by lovers. Our partners are not defined by genetics or familial bonds. We’re not necessarily thrown into proximity by way of work or school environments. We choose willingly to enter into relationship with them. In addition, there’s the added component of physical intimacy. Here are five characteristics of healthy, sacred relationships:”

Spiritual Sex: Ecstatic Love Beyond The Physical “I’m not at all pessimistic about the possibilities of lasting sexual love, but I do believe we are looking in all the wrong places. We cannot mandate thrilling, connected sexual encounters and just because one is married and “should” be having lots of fulfilling sex, doesn’t make it so. The fact is we do not have any idea just how deep and all encompassing sex can be because we are stuck with a model of sex that I call, “The Performance Model: Sex equals intercourse”: the goal of sex is orgasm, and great sex is a virtuoso performance.”

Why Sex is Sacred? “Our language suggests that once upon a time, Western Civilization understood the sacred nature of sex. This wisdom was lost during the Inquisition, in fact, one might say that this was the purpose of the Inquisition: To create a cultural shift from sex as sacred to sex as sinful, as the movie, Dangerous Beauty, beautifully demonstrates. Now it is time to return to the ancient wisdom of worshipping life rather than death. Or as we said in the sixties, ‘Make love, not war.'”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote that knowing yourself is important for your relationship, and we’ve found some very good articles about this – so many that we picked four this week.

Know Yourself? 6 Specific Ways to Know Who You Are “This blog will reveal 6 elements of self-knowledge that can help you understand your own identity. As you live your daily life, you can look for clues to these important building blocks of Self. But first, why is it important to know yourself?”

Knowing Yourself: How to Improve Your Understanding of Others “Developing a better understanding of yourself may also improve your capacity to better understand the thoughts and feelings of other people, a new study from Germany suggests. Researchers found that adults who participated in a psychology-training program to enhance their “perspective-taking” … became better at understanding themselves as well as understanding others, according to the findings published…in the Journal of Cognitive Enhancement…. all things being equal, more people are undone by behavioral issues than by anything else.”

The Right Way to Get to Know Yourself “To put it rather indelicately, many self-help books attempt to provide remedies for scraping away the sticky build up from the business of everyday living in order to reach an Authentic Self. But I fear the quest for an Authentic Self is as likely to succeed as a quest to capture a unicorn.”

People Don’t Actually Know Themselves Very Well “the truth is that no one has perfect self-awareness—you probably believe more than a few things about yourself that are false. Sixteen rigorous studies of thousands of people at work have shown that people’s coworkers are better than they are at recognizing how their personality will affect their job performance.”

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In this week’s blog, we addressed how to keep love alive in your relationship; here are some articles that also offer suggestions.

How To Keep A Relationship Interesting “The good news? Even the happiest, most stable and loyal of relationships will ebb and flow. The tough pill to swallow? You’ll still need to roll your sleeves up, bite your ego and build your patience to maintain a love affair that can stand the test of the ages. Here, psychologists provide their best solutions for recharging your relationship with intrigue and enchantment:”

18 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong “It takes more than love for your relationship to work. Although love is the foundation of any happy romantic relationship, love is not enough. In order to have a healthy relationship, both parties have to be willing to work on it. Below you’ll find 18 ways to keep your relationship strong.”

The Science Of ‘Happily Ever After’: 3 Things That Keep Love Alive “As Daniel Jones, author of Love Illuminated, explains: we spend youth asking “How do I find love?” and midlife asking “How do I get it back?” Anyone in a relationship or who plans on being in one needs to know how to keep love alive over the long term. But how do you learn the secret to this? Everyone is happy to explain “how they met” but few give the details on “how they stayed together.””

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In this week’s blog, we discussed why you need to feed your relationship. These articles offer lots of good suggestions about this topic.

10 Small Acts in a Relationship That Are Actually a Really Big Deal “There is an important distinction to be made in relationships between people who pay attention to detail, and people who don’t. The first type are people who don’t usually go all-out on the big things like extravagant gifts or getaways for special occasions, but they don’t do small things like take care of you while you are sick or go to pick up a prescription at CVS.”

The Single Best Thing You Can Do for Your Relationship “When we think of what we can do to nurture our relationship, we often think of tangibles. Buy her diamond earrings. Take her out to an elegant dinner. Surprise him by wearing sexy lingerie. Buy flowers and chocolate. Take a romantic trip together. While all of these things certainly won’t hurt your relationship (at all!), they aren’t necessarily the strongest ways to connect with your loved one. The deeper component has more to do with how you interact together rather than what you do together. It’s called validation. Consistent, thoughtful validation of your partner’s thoughts and feelings is the best thing you can do for your relationship.”

Best Relationship Tip Ever? Pay Attention to Your Partner! “It’s easy to get into a rut. Sometimes we take the people we love the most for granted. They deserve the biggest part of our attention, but we frequently find ourselves giving them the least. This is incredibly common. It seems life just gets in the way. With so many distractions, it can seem impossible to get it right.If you’re finding yourself nodding along as you’re reading this, then you’re in the right spot. It seems like everyone has some love advice they’re eager to share. But what is truly the best relationship tip to help you turn this situation around? Pay attention to your partner!”

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In this week’s blog, we asked why is empathy important in your relationship? These articles share interesting studies and viewpoints on this topic. Oh, and Happy Valentines Day!

The Power of Empathy in Romantic Relationships & How to Enhance It ““Empathy is truly the heart of the relationship,” said Carin Goldstein, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “Without it, the relationship will struggle to survive.” That’s because empathy requires compassion. And, without compassion, couples can’t develop a bond. “[A] bond is like glue: If there is no glue then everything falls apart.””

6 Ways to Nurture Empathy in Intimate Relationships “Having empathy applies to all walks of life and professions, from romance, friendships, parenting to politics. In his early research, Carl Rogers defined empathy as perceiving the internal frame of another person. He said that maintaining an empathetic way involves being sensitive moment by moment to the changing felt meanings that flow in the other person. “It means temporarily living in the other’s life, moving about in it delicately without making judgements; it means sensing meanings of which he or she is scarcely aware, but not trying to uncover totally unconscious feelings…””

9 Ways To Be More Empathetic To Your Partner & Feel More Connected, According To Experts “To have a healthy, strong relationship, it’s important for you and your partner to feel deeply connected with each other. While it may be easier to maintain this during the honeymoon phase, being vulnerable in your relationship and finding ways to be more empathetic to your partner can help with strengthening that emotional bond. Being empathetic means you’re aware of someone’s emotions from their perspective; you feel what they feel. Although it’s important to be empathetic in every personal connection you have, it’s vital to maintaining a long-lasting romantic relationship with your partner.”

Here’s a late addition: a BBC video on teaching empathy:

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