Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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In this week’s blog, we write about spreading peace in all relationships. Here are some great links reinforcing the idea.

Love And Making Relationships Work “On the fifteenth anniversary of 9/11, I had a discussion on my radio program with Austin yoga teacher, Jonathan Troen, about the anxiety and anger all around us that was palpable on that day, as well as throughout this election cycle. “Peacefulness starts from inside of us and then spreads. It’s contagious, just like anxiety,” said Troen. The solution, he told us, is to find a way to create tranquility within ourselves, such as through practices like meditation, yoga, or Tai-chi, in order to create peacefulness in the world. Coming from a place of stillness within helps us to make better decisions about how to overcome any obstacles in our environment and our interactions.”

15 Simple Ways to Spread Happiness and Kindness Around You “A very simple way to spread more happiness in your own little world is through kindness. It’s often an easy and quick thing you can do as you move through your daily life. But we sometimes forget about it. Or don’t remember how it can help us all. Three things that I like to keep in mind and that help me to try to be a kinder person are these:”

4 Ways to Spread Peace in Your World “No matter how comfortable our lives might be materially, we can still suffer internally, unhappily living out our lives depending on the tide of our circumstances. Peace and happiness isn’t about having everything we want, but being deeply moved by the gratitude for being able to experience life. One of the best ways to spread peace in the world is to recognize your own capacity to bring peace into the little things you do every day. For, as Annie Dillard so beautifully says, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.””

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In this week’s blog, Phil writes about optimism in life and relationships. Here are some links that are clear about the benefits of an optimistic outlook.

The Benefits of Looking on the Bright Side: 10 Reasons to Think Like an Optimist “Having a cheery disposition can influence more than just your mood. “People who are optimistic are more committed to their goals, are more successful in achieving their goals, are more satisfied with their lives, and have better mental and physical health when compared to more pessimistic people,” says Suzanne Segerstrom, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Kentucky. Research shows that people tend to be optimistic by nature, but what if you’re naturally more of an Eeyore?”

How Hope and Optimism Affects Romantic Relationships “What role do hope and optimism play in romantic relationships? What happens when hope fluctuates or when one partner is more optimistic than the other? The work of Eshkol Rafaeli, the professor of psychology at Bar-Ilan University, looks deeper at how hope works for couples, especially as they have their first child.”

Matchmaking Tips: How Optimism can Improve your Relationship “For years, relationship gurus, psychologists and matchmakers have recommended more optimism in relationships. Couples who proactively practice an optimistic attitude are happier, more willing to try new things, and not afraid of what the future holds. Thinking on the bright side might seem impossible, especially if one or both of you are not optimistic by nature. Don’t worry! Our matchmakers have compiled a guide to help you harness the power of optimism and bring it into your budding relationship.”

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This week’s blog discusses acceptance, compromise and active listening, so we’re offering some links with views on all three topics.

Is ‘Radical Acceptance’ the Key to a Lasting Relationship? “I believe radical acceptance is the key to making a relationship not only work — but thrive. It’s been the key to making my relationship with Sanjay incredibly deep and rewarding. So, what is radical acceptance? Radical acceptance means loving someone fully for who he or she really is — flaws, short-comings, weaknesses, warts, and all. It signifies loving someone without judgment. It is love filled with empathy and compassion.”

11 Ways That Active Listening Can Help Your Relationships “When you listen correctly, you also learn more…. Some individuals put on a blank stare that can only be described as their “screen-saver face” (in the words of one of my colleagues). You know what that screen-saver face looks like: it’s that blank stare in which the eyes are dull and looking blankly into nowhere and the face has absolutely no expression on it at all.”

The Hidden Cost of Too Much Compromise in Your Relationship “Who hasn’t heard about the importance of compromise in a relationship? But how often do we hear about the price that is paid for that compromise? In a relationship of significance, most people do things that are accommodating. But what happens when that behavior becomes passive behavior and is over-accommodating? What happens when you deny, suppress or repress a meaningful portion of yourself?”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote on what active listening can do for your relationship; here are some articles that help with understanding what is involved.

Deep Listening in Personal Relationships “One study conducted by Faye Doell (2003) showed that there are two different types of listening: “listening to understand” and “listening to respond.” Those who “listen to understand” have greater satisfaction in their interpersonal relationships than others. While people may think they might be listening to understand, what they’re really doing is waiting to respond.”

Practicing Active Listening Can Improve Your Relationship “In this article, I am going to highlight what active listening entails. If you find yourself thinking you and your partner have communication problems, and aren’t quite sure about how to fix them, I want you to know that practicing active listening can greatly improve how you communicate and will ultimately help your relationship.”

Why and How Active Listening Skills Can Improve Your Relationship “One way to become a better listener is to practice something called active listening. Usually when people have a conversation, part of their minds are elsewhere. They may be distracted by something they have to do after the conversation or, instead of listening attentively, they are thinking of what to say when it’s their turn to talk, like a counterargument.”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote on how to freshen up your relationship; here are some articles with various ideas about that.

Creative Things to Do in Your Relationship/Marriage to Keep It Interesting “I know firsthand from having been with my spouse in a relationship for nearly ten years (married nearly seven years) that you need to constantly find ways to keep your relationship strong and beating with enthusiasm. It’s easy to let it fall through the cracks when you have kids, a career and other obligations to tend to but that’s why making a point to work on it is vital to its survival.”

5 Tips for Healthy, Loving Relationships “Romantic relationships, in all of their complexity, are a fundamental component of our lives. And as the poet Rainer Maria Rilke mused, “There is scarcely anything more difficult than to love one another.” What makes a good relationship? Holly Parker, a clinical psychologist and instructor of the course The Psychology of Close Relationships, offers her advice on how to have healthy and loving romantic relationships.”

21 real couples reveal how they keep the spark alive in their relationship “Anyone who’s in a relationship wants to know the secret recipe to making their love last. And while everyone’s relationship is different, there is something to be learned from those who have managed to keep the spark alive for years or even decades. INSIDER asked real people in real relationships what they do to keep their partnerships exciting and healthy. Their advice was heartwarming, informative, and, at times, surprising.”