We’ve been writing a post each week for 15 years, and the starting point has always been what happened this week with us. The very process of sitting down and answering this question is probably a large contribution to sustaining our relationship.
To fully connect with another person involves bringing your full self – the one that sings and dances, grieves and fears. Connections change you, not by force, but by your presence.
When we approach things creatively in our connections, it requires being present and open to that which is new and different. We create interactions which are full of an awareness of each other and the play of uniqueness between us.
You may appreciate another, but not recognize the need to acknowledge them for what you see. How will they know if you do not communicate it? When you both appreciate and then acknowledge what you see in the other person, they feel seen and heard.
MAUDE: Phil and I recently wrote about a new game we are playing, with some cards that Phil has doctored for the game. Certain cards represent morning or afternoon, some mean Phil or Maude chooses, and some mean take a …
It’s Important to Make Room for Relationships Even When Life is Busy Read more →
Each week, we jam about a topic and record it. This week, the conversation was so on point that we cleaned up the audio and turned it into the dialog below. PHIL: Two or three weeks ago, I found myself …
How to Make Positive Choices in Your Relationships Read more →
PHIL: Trust is an essential part of good relationships. The first thing I want to say about trusting someone is that it is not what they say, it is what they do. What they say about themselves or how they …
The Secret to Deep, Peaceful Relationships is Quiet but Powerful Trust Read more →
PHIL: You talked at lunch about two friends who spend much of their day in each other’s company doing activities together, and I said that is not us; we have a different balance, though I suspect it’s not totally equal, …
PHIL: In this culture, there is a strong focus on the individual. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself, to stay alive, to plan for the future. And yet, we are not a solitary species; we are a …
How Relationships and Community Fulfill the Same Need for Connection Read more →
To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work. Mary Oliver PHIL: I’ve been meditating recently and have discovered that when I consciously sit still, it works much better. I’m not talking about making an effort to keep my …
Why Stillness and Attention are at the Core of Peaceful Relationships Read more →