Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationship differences, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with ,

This week, we wrote about how being on the same side strengthens relationships and makes handling differences easy. Here are some writers on how to manage the differences without descending into conflict.

6 Ways to Manage the Differences in Your Relationship “Mary loves romantic comedies. Her boyfriend Sam likes action movies—the more violent, the better. She’s a vegetarian; he’s a carnivore. ‘I love him, but we seem totally mismatched,’ she says. ‘We can’t agree on a movie or a meal; how can we make important life choices, like where we’ll live or when we’ll start a family?'”

Rebuilding Emotional Safety: How to Accept Differences in a Relationship “Generally, rules and guidelines are designed to provide structure and a working understanding of how to act/behave in any given environment (i.e. rules for sports, traffic laws for drivers, and behavior expectations for employees). The same principle applies to the rules for fair fighting when it comes to couples. Fair fighting rules are purposeful and create an emotionally safe environment for couples when discussing important matters”

Six Healthy Ways to Navigate Disagreements with your Partner “Every person has had a disagreement with someone they love, but that does not mean it is the end of the road or the relationship. People have different opinions, and it is perfectly normal and okay to disagree with the people you love—even your partner. Though disagreements are a common part of life, less common are shared insights about how to navigate conflict in a healthy way. ‘The important thing to remember about having disagreements is that it is you and your partner against the problem, not you versus your partner,'”

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This week, we wrote about handling interruptions in conversations and how they affect your relationships. Here are some articles that discuss different types of interruptions and how to deal with them.

Understanding the Psychology of Interrupting “Constant interruptions can be difficult to deal with, but understanding a bit more about the psychology of interrupting can help you cope. Recognizing why it happens is a great place to start, but it is also an excellent idea to have a number of strategies prepared to help deal with the chronic interrupter in your life.”

The psychology of interrupting explained “At first glance, the psychology behind interrupting seems simple: A speaker is saying something and is cut off by someone else who goes on to express their own thing, leaving the former embittered. But there’s much more to interruptions than that. To begin, let’s talk about what constitutes an interruption.”

Stanford researcher examines how people perceive interruptions in conversation “Stanford doctoral candidate Katherine Hilton found that people perceive interruptions in conversation differently, and those perceptions differ depending on the listener’s own conversational style as well as gender.”

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This week, we wrote about why trust is so important in all your relationships, and our links agree with that and describe ways to strengthen trust between people.

The Definition of Trust in a Relationship “Before we go any further, it’s really important to address one of the common misconceptions about trust, and the idea that trust is something that is inherently present at the start of a relationship. That’s simply not true. Trust is something that’s built up over time, and it’s unrealistic to expect trust to be present right off the bat! It’s not made out of big statements or gestures, but instead out of the accumulation of many small actions. It’s grown through witnessing someone’s words match their actions again and again over a long period of time.”

11 Reasons Why Trust in a Relationship Is More Important Than Love “Trust in a relationship means you believe that your partner is reliable and has your best interests in their hearts. It means you have faith and confidence in them. And you feel emotionally and physically safe with them, just as they do with you. It means you expect respect, integrity, loyalty, and honesty in your relationship. You expect your partner to keep promises and secrets, and to support you when the tides get rough.”

Why Is Trust Important “Trust is something that two parties can build over time as they interact with each other. When people trust each other, they’re more willing to exchange ideas, share information, and support each other. In this way, it allows all of us to accomplish more than we could if we couldn’t rely on others in our lives.”

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This week, we wrote about how to find peace and harmony in your relationship through mutual solutions. Here are some other perspectives on how to achieve mutuality.

Learning to Make Joint Decisions “Learning to make joint decisions is an important part of any long-term romantic relationship. While decisions start small, with tonight’s supper, they get bigger, through the colour of the bathroom to whether to have children, how to manage childcare, and whether to move abroad to support one partner’s career, for example. Developing a reliable basis for decision-making and discussion will provide a good foundation for a long-lasting relationship.”

Your Decision, My Decision, Our Decision “Anyone who has ever tried to make a decision – small or big – with their partner knows how difficult it is. Why is it so hard? When you are single, your decisions are your own; they only require personal buy-in and typically they have very little impact on other people. (Or at least that’s what you tell yourself!) When you’re in a committed relationship, on the other hand, decisions require buy-in from both parties, and nearly every decision you make has an impact on your partner. ”

The 3 core skills that every person needs for healthy romantic relationships “It’s never too late — or too early — to learn the abilities that make up romantic competence: insight, mutuality and emotional regulation. And when you possess these skills, all of the relationships in your life will benefit, says psychologist and researcher Joanne Davila.”

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This week, we wrote about why it’s important to be aware of both words and emotions in your relationships. Here are some articles that will help you focus on the emotions and not get caught up in the words.

12 Reasons to Pay More Attention to Your Feelings “Emotions are such an internal and integral part of our lives that it can be easy to just ignore them. Yet our feelings are an expression of our deepest selves that can be very helpful when we listen. From motivation and mindfulness to decision-making and authenticity, much can be gained from simply paying attention to your feelings.”

Emotional Intelligence in Love and Relationships “Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the secret of lasting intimate relationships, largely because it makes us extremely aware of the changes—large and small—that are constantly occurring in ourselves and others. By building your EQ, you’ll have the sensitivity that each of us is always seeking in a significant other. You’ll automatically sense, through active awareness and empathy, the little shifts in the dynamics of your romance that signal a need for action.”

Attachment Styles and How They Affect Your Relationships “Attachment Theory is an area of psychology that describes the nature of emotional attachment between humans. It begins as children with our attachment to our parents. The nature of this attachment, and how well it’s fostered and cared for, will then influence the nature of our attachment to romantic partners later in our life.”

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