Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

By Posted on Posted in Peace, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with

This week, we wrote about how acceptance is the best path to a peaceful relationship. We were delighted to find a number of articles describing and expanding on this idea.

Developing Acceptance Skills in a Relationship “Couples seeking counseling services often ask for help with their communication skills. I redirect them to begin developing acceptance skills in relationships. What nurtures and sustains loving intimate relationships is learning to relate through acceptance instead of judgment. The underlying fear that there is not enough ” _______” for me is what drives the judging, shaming, blaming and criticizing in order to try to change the self or the other so that there is more “_______” for me. This approach chases love away instead of enhancing it.”

How to Practice Radical Acceptance and Improve Your Well-being “You know what they say, sometimes you can’t solve certain problems? Don’t worry, you still have options. In fact, you have exactly four options. You can:

  • Solve the problem anyway,
  • Change your perception of it,
  • Radically accept the situation, or
  • Choose to stay miserable.”

5 Things Everyone Should Know About Acceptance “The first person to pose the idea of “acceptance” to me was my first therapist. We were discussing my relationship with my dad (cliché, I know), and she suggested I “accept” that I might never have the relationship with him I desired. I was appalled. ‘Excuse me? You’re my therapist. Aren’t you supposed to have the answers to how I can fix this?’ As I got older, I began to understand why desiring something else—something that was, for the most part, out of my control—was causing me more pain than accepting that, at least for now, this was the way it was going to be.”

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By Posted on Posted in Peace, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating

In our blog this week, we asked ChatGPT about peace in relationship, and added our own takes. Here are some other versions of peace in relationships.

Don’t Let Someone Else Take Your Peace of Mind: 4 options for mindfully dealing with others “When someone pushes our buttons, it’s hard not to automatically react. When another person says or does something we don’t like, we might feel angry, upset, or anxious. Our automatic “mindless”reaction to that feeling might be to yell at the person, make a snide comment, or avoid the person altogether. Using mindfulness tools, rather than automatically reacting, we can learn to choose a meaningful response. Since this is very difficult in the moment, the first step in mindfulness is often to simply STOP and take a pause before reacting.”

How to Experience Peace as a Living Reality in Your Relationships An earlier blog of ours
“Peace is sometimes regarded as an absence or a state of inertness, like the peace of the dead, but thinking that way obscures that it is an actual experience like many others. Just as you can be in a state of agitation or worry or panic, you can also be in a state of peace. It’s a sense of not being pulled in any direction, of contentment, of tranquility. It’s very much connected with being present, because when you’re thinking about the future, you’re planning to change something or be somewhere.”

How to Find Your Inner Peace “How do you find your inner peace? Is it by meditating in the Himalayas mountains, going on a vacation in the Caribbean, or promoting world peace? Inner peace does not have a one-size-fits-all definition. There is no standard process or mandatory steps to follow to find your peace of mind. Finding inner peace is more challenging with our busy schedule, hectic lifestyle, and everyday stressors, but it’s completely possible. This article will discuss what inner peace truly means, how important it is, and some ways how to attain it.”

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This week we wrote about adding gratitude to the underlying position of being positive. Here is a video and several articles that look at various aspects of this.

How Practicing Gratitude Can Strengthen Relationships “Gratitude impacts how we relate to others and how we feel about our circumstances. What you choose to focus on is where your focus remains. Concentrating on the negative when things are hard can overwhelm you, and it teaches your brain to hone in on the worst. The alternative is to choose gratitude and find things you can appreciate during all the hard stuff going on in your life.”

Celebrate What’s Right With The World! A TEDx video. “Are you discouraged by what’s happening in the world today? THEN WATCH THIS! In minutes, you’ll rediscover the wonders and possibilities that surround us everyday just waiting to be noticed and celebrated. Find out for yourself why former National Geographic photographer Dewitt Jones is considered by thousands to be one of the most inspiring speakers on the planet.”

7 Major Health Effects of Expressing Gratitude in Relationships “Whatever the situation, appreciation feels good…and, as it turns out, it’s actually good for your health. In fact, expressing or receiving appreciation triggers an actual chemical reaction in the brain. Just like when a mother holds a baby or a loved one gives you a hug, a person who gives or receives a genuine thank you experiences the release of oxytocin.”

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By Posted on Posted in Presence, Reading, Relationships, Spectrum of Acceptance, Successful Relating Tagged with

This week, we wrote about how you can be away and still be present in your intimate relationships. Here are some articles that discuss different aspects of emotional connection in relationships.

Relationship Connection: 3 Choices that Make or Break It “Conflict is the inflammation of a lack of emotional connection from a partner. Research confirms that erosion of a relationship begins with the absence of emotional support. Thousands of studies in developmental psychology, research on attachment and insights from neuroscience highlight the fact that in relationships, we are truly interdependent. All of us are born helpless and dependent, and the only healthy way to embrace this vulnerability is to reach out and embrace each other.”

Emotional Connection: What it is and how to maintain it “Basically, feeling connected means feeling in touch with someone who cares about us. Most people acknowledge that children need to feel a safe attachment to an adult who cares for them. The reality is that adults also need a secure attachment to another adult. Each of us has an innate need to feel safely attached to another person who will be there in our times of physical or emotional need. When we enter into a committed relationship, this need actually intensifies due to the hope that this one special person will consistently be there for us. Specifically, we hope that this one adult will meet our emotional needs in three ways.”

10 Signs You Have An Emotional Connection With Someone “As it turns out, finding an emotional connection is not as easy as building a physical or intellectual connection. While it may sound simple, it is not that easy to connect emotionally with people after all. We often confuse emotional connection with the feeling of being in love. This leads to questions like, “Does emotional connection mean to love?” Quite simply, the emotional connection is the strength that holds love together.”

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By Posted on Posted in Core Values, Reading, Relationships, Spectrum of Acceptance, Successful Relating 2 Comments

This week, we wrote about how to create peace in relationships and life by knowing your core values. These articles share a variety of ways to define core values and suggest how to find yours.

6 Ways to Discover and Choose Your Core Values “Life presents an endless series of decisions, large and small, that require you to make difficult choices. While many factors are involved, the critical factor in deciding may be your core values. These values tell you what kind of person you are, or want to be, and provide guidelines, or even imperatives, for your actions. But how do you know what your core values are? This blog post will reveal six ways to discover and choose your core values.”

5 Ways Your Core Values Impact Your Life “They are the reason why we do what we do, even if we’re not consciously negotiating our decision-making with values at the forefront. Don’t believe me? Here are five ways they are impacting your life and if you’re married, your relationship with your spouse.”

Live Your Core Values: 10-Minute Exercise to Increase Your Success “How are you showing up at work? In your personal relationships? For yourself? How you show up in the world is determined by your core values. It doesn’t take years of self-reflection to uncover your core values. This simple exercise can help you determine them so you can start aligning your personal goals with them. How long will it take? About 10 minutes, well worth the investment!”