Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

By Posted on Posted in Core Values, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with

This week, we wrote about making service a core value in your relationships. Here are some interesting articles on how to incorporate acts of service into your relationships.

Acts of Service Love Language Explained & Examples “The Acts of Service Love Language is all about showing love through actions. It’s not just about doing the laundry or making dinner – it’s about the intentionality behind those actions. It’s the idea of taking something off your partner’s to-do list, simply because you care. It’s about stepping up and taking the initiative to recognize and address your partner’s needs without being asked. This love language doesn’t prioritize grand gestures or expensive gifts. Rather, it emphasizes small, practical actions that simplify your partner’s life”

In Service to Each Other “I know that Ari loves me, and even when he is away from home traveling for business a lot, I know he loves me. But knowing that he loves me and experiencing his love are very different. We have worked out a method that has been good for us over the busy years of raising kids and raising our business. We choose a block of time, a few hours during the day on a weekend, or an entire evening, where we will not be disturbed by children or telephone, and we turn off all tech devices. We make a clear agreement to be in service to each other the entire time.”

The Importance of Supporting Each Other in a Relationship “Being supportive does not mean doing anything for your partner that makes us uncomfortable. It doesn’t also necessarily mean that we need to try and solve other people’s issues.  Part of being supportive is to be really present and a good listener, to not constantly stand in judgment and actually have a sincere and caring disposition. To really hear and understand what the other person is communicating and not allowing our own stuff to get in the way. When someone truly loves and supports you, they will challenge you, stand beside you when you need them and give you space to be yourself and grow as a person.”

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By Posted on Posted in Presence, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating

This week, we said why it’s important to be fully present in your relationships. Here are some thoughts to that topic.

The Quality All Healthy Relationships Share “Of course, emotional availability involves listening, but it also includes being in tune with your partner’s desires, wishes, and thoughts. Those who are emotionally available are predictable and stable in their emotional responses, validate your experience (even when they disagree with your stance), and take feedback in healthy ways. They also share their thoughts and feelings with you and don’t shy away from tough conversations. Gaslighting, dismissiveness, and manipulation are emotionally damaging behaviors that they don’t do.

How to Be More Emotionally Available in Your Relationships “To say a person is emotionally available means being present in a way that goes beyond physical proximity. It’s about being open to truly understand, empathize, and reciprocate the emotions of others,” explains Joel Frank, PsyD, clinical psychologist and owner, Duality Psychological Services. “It refers to our ability to share an emotional connection with others and to be open to receiving their emotions in return,” he adds.

Cultivating Intimacy and Communication through Mindfulness “Being present in a relationship means being fully engaged and attentive to your partner. This means setting aside distractions and focusing on the moment, paying attention to what your partner is saying, and actively listening to their thoughts and feelings. This type of presence helps to create an environment of open communication, trust, and understanding.”

By Posted on Posted in Peace, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with ,

This week, we wrote about how to experience peace in your relationships. Here is some advice from other writers on this important subject.

10 Ways to Have Peaceful, Loving Relationships “…this is not a post about romance. It’s about any relationship—with your brother, your mother, your coworker, or your friend. Relationships are not easy. They mirror everything we feel about ourselves. When you’ve had a bad day, the people around you seem difficult. When you’re not happy with yourself, your relationships seem to be lacking. If you’ve ever gotten in a fight only to find yourself wondering what you were really upset about, this post may help you.”

The Secret to Peaceful Relationships “There was a time when it was very easy for me to be disappointed by other people. I can’t tell you how many times I would feel angry or let down when someone failed to do what I wanted them to do or what they agreed they would do. I would sometimes be filled with strong, uncomfortable feelings in these situations. In addition, as you might imagine, this propensity brought friction into my friendships and other relationships as I even complained to these unwitting perpetrators that they shouldn’t have done what they did.”

The Secret to Peaceful Relationships “There was a time when it was very easy for me to be disappointed by other people. I can’t tell you how many times I would feel angry or let down when someone failed to do what I wanted them to do or what they agreed they would do. I would sometimes be filled with strong, uncomfortable feelings in these situations. In addition, as you might imagine, this propensity brought friction into my friendships and other relationships as I even complained to these unwitting perpetrators that they shouldn’t have done what they did.”

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By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with , , ,

In this week’s blog we wrote about the three things that every person wants in their relationships: acceptance, appreciation and acknowledgement. Here is what other people have written about these, sometimes choosing slightly different A-words.

The 3As in Relationship Success: Acceptance, Appreciation, Acknowledgement “This is when being able to fully accept your lover is essential. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say, do, or believe. But you have to know that this is who they are. They are not you and for some people this can be upsetting. I know, hard to believe, but it is amazing how many people come into my office wanting me to change their partner — make them understand how incorrect they are in their beliefs and actions. This is non-acceptance at its highest form.”

How To Be An Adult in Relationships – Give The Five A’s of Love “It’s important to know that we never out grow the need to receive attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing.  Giving and receiving the Five A’s of love in your relationship with your significant other can not only bring you closer, but can reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and help fill the void created by childhood relationship trauma. Set an intention to give and receive these dimensions of love in your partnership, marriage or next dating relationship and see how this approach may help improve your relationship and how you feel.”

The 5 As of a Loving Relationship “Ask anyone to describe a loving relationship, and the answers you get will vary enormously. But some things pop up again and again. For David Richo in his book ‘How to be an Adult in Relationships’, there are five key elements that all healthy relationships need attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing. I love discussing these with clients and exploring how each are showing up in their relationship.”

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By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with , , ,

This week, we wrote about why it’s important to support each other in your relationships. Here are some articles that explore how support contributes to a healthy relationship.

The Importance of Supporting Each Other in a Relationship “Being supportive does not mean doing anything for your partner that makes us uncomfortable. It doesn’t also necessarily mean that we need to try and solve other people’s issues. Part of being supportive is to be really present and a good listener, to not constantly stand in judgment and actually have a sincere and caring disposition. To really hear and understand what the other person is communicating and not allowing our own stuff to get in the way. When someone truly loves and supports you, they will challenge you, stand beside you when you need them and give you space to be yourself and grow as a person.”

12 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship “The importance of doing things together and allowing and supporting each other’s personal growth in a healthy relationship is two-fold: It allows you both to share the things you love with each other, and it gives you the space to be supportive even when something doesn’t fully align with your own individual interests.”

What It Really Means to Have a Supportive Partner “’The best possible thing you can get out of a relationship is that you’re with someone who encourages you to be the best version of yourself every day.’ ~Nishan Panwar. Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you felt supported? When was the last time you felt safe, at home, encouraged, and able to be 100% yourself? If your partner creates a safe space for you to do this, then you are truly blessed. If not, have you ever wondered why you don’t feel safe, supported, and loved?”

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