Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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This week’s blog is on the need for total acceptance in a successful relationship. Here’s a variety of viewpoints on this topic.

Acceptance: The Foundation of Lasting Relationships “Relating is simply about acceptance of the other and commitment to that person above all else, including what we want. Acceptance is recognizing the other person for who he or she is and being attentive to the circumstances of the relationship moment by moment.”

Acceptance: The Key to a Happy Marriage “Acceptance also takes maturity. It is the mature person who grasps that just because someone is different, that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with them.”

It is what it is…. 3 Ways to learn Total Acceptance “Learning to practice acceptance can drastically improve our outlook on our current state of affairs. And not just any old acceptance, but TOTAL ACCEPTANCE.”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about why it’s important to be kind and gentle in your relationships. These articles explain why they are such important qualities in relationships.

The Importance of Kindness “Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. Science has now shown that devoting resources to others, rather than having more and more for yourself, brings about lasting well-being. Kindness has been found by researchers to be the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage. Many colleges, including Harvard, are now emphasizing kindness on applications for admission.”

Gentleness is Strength: The 7 Habits of Highly Gentle People “There is nothing that shows your strength better than your gentleness. It might sound a little bit odd. It may come across as some kind of a contradiction, but if you think about it for just a minute it makes sense. ‘Most of us, I believe, admire strength. It’s something we tend to respect in others, desire for ourselves, and wish for our children. Sometimes, though, I wonder if we confuse strength and other words–like aggression and even violence. Real strength is neither male nor female; but is, quite simply, one of the finest characteristics that any human being can possess.’ – Mr Rogers”

How Kindness Can Strengthen Your Love “One of the main points of the … key to lasting relationships is kindness and generosity. Based on the research of Gottman and others, ‘kindness (along with emotional stability) is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage.’ When kindness is expressed in relationship, couples feel more care, consideration, love, and understanding. Kindness contributes to an overall feeling of goodwill and positivity. Partners are inspired and motivated to continue the pattern, which results in a positive cycle of love and generosity.”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about why matching values are important for your relationships. These articles cover a wide spectrum of ways to look at values.

What Should You Look For In A Partner? Here’s How To Figure Out Your Core Values In Relationships, According To Experts “As we each navigate the ups-and-downs of our love lives — from meet-cute to breakup and back again — we’re constantly learning more about ourselves, what we want in life, and what we value in relationships. Over time, everyone develops their own unique set of core values: fundamental beliefs that influence how we conduct ourselves in all aspects of life, including our romantic relationships.”

Love and Values “Acting on feelings no doubt got you into a love relationship. Continuing to act on feelings will almost certainly get you out of it… On a routine basis, feelings are about temporary variations in comfort, convenience, pleasure, and status. Values, on the other hand, are stable over time and ultimately supported by a sense of character. While feelings create temporary importance, values give enduring meaning and purpose to life. Feelings may forge committed relationships, but values sustain them. The power of love comes not from its feelings but its values.”

Value (ethics) “Values relate to the norms of a culture, but they are more global and intellectual than norms. Norms provide rules for behavior in specific situations, while values identify what should be judged as good or evil. While norms are standards, patterns, rules and guides of expected behavior, values are abstract concepts of what is important and worthwhile. Flying the national flag on a holiday is a norm, but it reflects the value of patriotism. Wearing dark clothing and appearing solemn are normative behaviors to manifest respect at a funeral. Different cultures represent values differently and to different levels of emphasis”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about how to live peacefully in the midst of all the turmoil in the world. Here are some other voices with sage advice.

How to Live in Peace WikiHow is a collaborative site like Wikipedia that, despite its appearance, often has very good peer-reviewed articles. “Living in peace is about living harmoniously with yourself, others, and all sentient beings around you. While you will find your own meanings of peaceful existence and outward manifestations of a peaceful life according to your beliefs and lifestyle, there are some basics underpinning living in peace that cannot be overlooked, such as being non-violent, being tolerant, holding moderate views, and celebrating wondrous-life.”

How to be Calm and Peaceful Under Difficult Circumstances “It’s not easy is it? Keeping our mind focused, especially in the midst of challenges or difficult circumstances. So how do we do that throughout the difficulties life can and far too often does bring? Learning how to focus our mind to be calm and peaceful is very important and often can determine our success both in the outer physical and inner spiritual world.”

7 Ways To Feel Content With Your Life Right Now “Contentment, or the state of being content, is about peaceful satisfaction. It involves appreciating what you have and where you are in life, rather than wishing things were different. Of course, I’m not saying you should simply settle for a life that doesn’t bring you joy. Rather, you should continue to dream big, set goals for yourself, and work towards them diligently – just remember to enjoy the journey and not rush to make it happen.”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about how we retain peace of mind during these turbulent times. The keys are recognizing each other’s individuality and accepting that completely. Here are some articles describing how to do that.

Preserving Individuality to Strengthen Your Relationship “To maintain a successful relationship it is necessary that both people maintain their own individuality and respect the individuality of their partner. Each is concerned with their own and their partner’s continued development as a person. In my book, Daring to Love, I write about achieving this by remaining adult, open, undefended, and honest in your interactions. I also discuss the importance of regarding your partner as a sovereign individual, separate from you and your relationship.”

How to Accept Someone for Who They Are in a Relationship “One of the ways to a healthy and successful relationship is genuinely accepting your partner for who they are. However, most couples fail to recognize this fact because they are either too busy looking for perfection or too occupied focusing on their partner’s flaws. If you’re currently facing the same challenges in your relationship, don’t worry. This article will help you figure out different ways to help you overcome them.”

Accepting Differences Between You and Your Partner “I was thinking about acceptance the other day and was realizing that this is a practice that might take a long time to get good at, especially when we are talking about relationships. You see, all of us pretty much like who we are. We like how we think, how we behave and act. We like our ways. And many of us get really perturbed when our partner doesn’t agree with us. They might do something different than what we learned growing up. Or they might like something arranged differently then how we prefer. They might even say things we would never say.”

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