Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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Two weeks ago, we wrote about how to transcend today’s turmoil with inner peace. We ended the blog by asking “What is it that you do? What refreshes your spirit? What brings you peace?” and published our readers’ responses. Here are some more articles about the issue of turmoil, including from earlier times.

3 Easy Ways to Avoid Stress, when the World is in Turmoil “During times of global crisis, it is wise to reassess our individual positioning in life, so we don’t get needlessly swept away by fear and negativity. Since the world seems to be entering a new stage of upheaval, let’s talk about some ways to maintain a peaceful center, and stay grounded and happy.”

Coping with Fatigue, Fear, and Panic During a Crisis “Late last week, we gave a presentation to about 20 chief medical officers from health care systems around the country. I began by asking them to share a sentence or two about how they were feeling, personally. Over the next half hour, their answers spilled out in a torrent.
“Exhausted, overwhelmed, and anxious.”
“I’m feeling fearful and fatigued.”
“Frustrated and dismayed.”
“The current workload is not sustainable.”
We are dealing with two contagions — the virus itself and the emotions it generates.”

Maintain your center in this time of turmoil. A brain perspective of why it’s important and how to do it. “Our world is changing, and it will never be the same. How are you coping, and how would you like to cope? What are your dangers, and what are your opportunities in this time of change? What strengths would you like to grow, and how will you do that? We need to be proactive on all levels of our being ~ physical, emotional, mental and spiritual, and you need the right tools to thrive and change with the times. With the right tools you and your family will come out of this stronger than ever, but without the right tools you risk flailing and suffering more than you need too.”

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Last week we wrote about how to transcend today’s turmoil with inner peace. This week, other people shared what they do. Here are a few articles with some useful advice about this issue.

7 Ways to Cope With COVID-19 “The battle seems like it is outside of your home against some microscopic enemy, but the struggle actually starts inside your mind. Anxiety steals away our joy and peace by consuming our focus and kicking our imaginations into overdrive. We begin to create worst-case scenarios in our mind, which is like making a down payment on horrifying misfortunes that will never occur.”

How to Survive Emotional Turmoil: A Meditation for Calming Your Emotions “Today I’d like to focus on the stuff that goes on inside of you and put some focus on the fact that much of the stress you face today is perceived. Of course there are exceptions to this, and if you are in real danger, it goes without saying that you should seek help. Perceived stress is another way to describe inner turmoil.”

Dealing with Turmoil “When I start to hear the same stories from everyone I encounter, I take notice. This year so far has been one of intensity and turmoil. On a global and national level, we’re dealing with war, terrorism and a crucial presidential election. On a personal level, many of us are facing health issues (ourselves or loved ones), losses and financial or other challenges. (Even new opportunities and growth can be emotionally challenging.)”

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This week, we wrote about how to transcend today’s turmoil with inner peace, and we have found some very interesting articles that complement ours and have a range of approaches.

Living Peacefully in a Time of Turmoil “As a theologian and ethicist, my research focuses particu­larly on how people find meaning and purpose in their existence. These goals are severely challenged in times of turmoil, such as the current age marked by anxieties over war, terrorism, and the economy. How can we manage to find meaning in life—how can we find inner peace or practice peace toward others—when our world seems mired in insta­bility and despair? I believe there are three critical components to living peacefully in such times: narrative, transcendence, and hope.”

4 Keys to Inner Peace in the Age of Corona “There’s another way—a calmer way. Cultivating a more restful, relaxed state of mind doesn’t mean we’ll drown under all our responsibilities. Instead, research suggests it will bring us greater attention, energy, and creativity to tackle them. And science also points to simple ways we can tap into that calm state of mind to be more resilient in our chaotic lives.”

How To Feel a Steady Inner Sanctuary in a World of Turmoil “As we face the ebb and flow of each day and witness the inevitable suffering that is a consequence of our human greed and antagonism, we need to make sure not to lose sight of the eternal light—our true nature. Focusing on that light does not deny the presence of the clouds, the violence, the pain we all can feel. But we do not add to them with our own inner agitation and wanting”

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This week, we said that you should avoid making lists and keeping score in your relationships. Here are a few guides on how to do that.

Keeping Score in Your Relationship Makes You Lose “With all of these things competing for your time and attention, people often end up looking to their partner to save the day, help out and “pull their weight.” You start watching everything they do and comparing it to what you do. In effect, you start keeping score in your relationship. This inevitably leads to feelings of resentment, anxiety, frustration and disappointment. Not the feelings you want if you’re looking for a connected, happy and satisfying relationship. Whether you’ve been together 10 months or 10 years, keeping score and competing often becomes an unwelcome component of many relationships. How do you stop it? Well, first you have to realize what you’re doing and why.”

When Keeping Score Keeps Us Apart “All relationships require balance. When balance doesn’t exist, particularly in unhealthy relationships, one partner typically takes on more of the work in an effort to maintain the relationship. Usually, one or both partners are keeping score. Rather than maintaining a healthy relationship, they’re maintaining a list of both efforts made and wrongs done. It may provide a balance, but I don’t think it’s the sort of accounting that makes our relationships stronger.”

8 ways to stop scorekeeping in your relationship “None of us want to admit to being a scorekeeper in our relationships. Behaving that way would mean that we are petty, small-minded, immature, or self-centered, not to mention grudging or stingy — all the attributes that grate on the very soul of our more evolved, generous, gracious, gratitude-trained true selves. Ouch. It’s not how we want to see ourselves, and it is certainly not how we want our children to see us. But score keep we do.”

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This week, we wrote about how to nurture intimacy in your relationship. Here are some articles with a variety of suggestions on what you can do.

Nourishing the Different Types of Intimacy in Your Relationship “When we talk about being intimate in a romantic relationship, we often equate it to sexual intimacy. But sex is just one form of intimacy. ‘Intimacy is a process whereby we feel truly seen, known by and connected to our partner,’ said Jennifer Kogan, LICSW, a psychotherapist who provides individual and couples counseling in Washington, D.C. And this can manifest in many ways. Here are other types of intimacy and how you can nourish each one.”

The check-in: an exercise to nurture intimacy and the tolerance of deep connection “In my experience working with couples, it’s not uncommon to find that partners have a considerable difference in their need or tolerance for emotional contact and intimacy. One partner may be more emotionally expressive and generally talkative, while the other may be less emotionally expressive and less comfortable with one-to-one contact with their partner.”

How to build emotional intimacy with your partner — starting tonight “When we discuss intimacy in a romantic partnership, what usually comes to mind are physical acts, such as holding hands, cuddling, kissing and even sex. While physical intimacy is integral in any romantic partnership — it’s one of the primary factors that sets it apart from any other type of relationship — fostering emotional intimacy is just as, if not more, important.”

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