Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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In this week’s blog we asked if you need to be mature for a conflict free relationship. Here are some other peoples’ writing on the subject.

How to Have a Mature Relationship Although WikiHow has a cartoon look to it, we find that the advice is often spot on. “Mature adult relationships are founded on good communication and trust. When these factors are in place, both partners feel supported by and committed to the relationship. If you want to help your relationship mature, work on building a healthy bond, developing positive communication habits, and improving trust between you and your partner. It may also help to get insight into your past habits to solve common relationship problems.”

3 Things Emotionally Mature Couples Do “A mature relationship lives by this peace of mind; immature ones drown in it. There’s no real drama. Because drama is for kids. Drama is for people who don’t know how to have a relationship — who live by idealistic, preconceived notions that love must be wild and obsessive. Love is easy. It’s the easiest thing you’ve ever done. It’s the calmest place in your life, the safest blanket you’ve ever worn. It’s something that happens naturally; it doesn’t need to be fought for day in and day out.”

Difference Between A Mature Relationship And An Immature Relationship “Emotional maturity is an essential ingredient in creating a stable, loving, and long-lasting relationship. It does not come naturally with age. Couples who have been married 30 plus years and are still locked in a power struggle have not yet achieved emotional maturity as they are often stuck in the blame game and the cycle of reactivity. Emotionally mature couples have developed healthy habits that have enabled them to take the higher road and have led them to create fulfilling relationships. Here are three things emotionally mature couples do:”

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In this week’s blog we asked why are acceptance, appreciation and acknowledgement important in your relationship? Other people write about these, sometimes choosing slightly different A?words.

The 3As in Relationship Success: Acceptance, Appreciation, Acknowledgement “This is when being able to fully accept your lover is essential. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say, do, or believe. But you have to know that this is who they are. They are not you and for some people this can be upsetting. I know, hard to believe, but it is amazing how many people come into my office wanting me to change their partner — make them understand how incorrect they are in their beliefs and actions. This is non-acceptance at its highest form.”

Learn the 5 A’s of Relating “We all crave something in relationships. This is why you are reading this blog. This is why you have sought out relationships of every kind for your entire life. We are innately social creatures, constantly seeking something from others, and giving that something back to others in the process we call relating. We’ve seen it in the movies, romance novels, success stories, and the like. We seek it subconsciously every day, but how do you describe it? What is it, exactly? The closest I’ve come to understanding what “it” is came when I learned the 5 A’s of relationships.”

Being accepted and appreciated for who you are “What could be more fundamental to a healthy, loving relationship than being accepted and appreciated for who you are? And yet, it’s a common issue. Why is that? One set of reasons boil down to challenges in communication and interpretation.”

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In this week’s blog we wrote about why you need to be present in your relationship. Here are some articles about aspects of presence.

Mind Your Presence, It Matters “I think that most people—whatever their preferences or principles might be—can get behind the notion that the world would benefit from more peace and understanding. But regardless of how monumental it might seem to accomplish that, it starts in small and simple ways. It starts with you and me, right here and now. … I invite you to consider how you can begin to get intentional about the way you show up in the interpersonal encounters of your daily life.”

6 Ways to Bring More Presence and Connection to Your Relationships “When was the last time you looked into the eyes of a stranger such as a guy taking your order or the woman at the checkout and really acknowledged their presence? Actually, when was the last time you looked into the eyes of your partner or your children for a prolonged stretch of time? In our hectic lives, we are always so busy trying to accomplish one thing or another, that it’s easy to become distracted and disconnected from the people around us. Here are my 6 top tips on how to bring more presence and connection into our everyday encounters with people.”

Your Brain, Mindful Presence and Five Practices to Energize Your Relationship, 2 of 2 “You want happiness? The best option is to grow your ability to empathically connect to your self and partner, in present moments of awareness. It’s a way of knowing, understand your self, and life around you that is connected to your compassion, and that allows you to best understand and empathically connect to your partner.”

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In this week’s blog we asked if you believe in a peaceful relationship. Here are some articles about belief and intention.

The Four Qualities of a Conscious Relationship “So what exactly is a conscious relationship? It’s a romantic relationship in which both partners feel committed to a sense of purpose, and that purpose is growth. Individual growth. Collective growth as a couple. Growth that makes the world a better place. … When two people come together with the intention of growth, the relationship strives towards something much greater than gratification. The partnership becomes a journey of evolution, and the two individuals have an opportunity to expand more than they could alone. Deep satisfaction and long-term fulfillment arise as a result.”

What People in Healthy Relationships Do “What matters in a relationship is the intention that each person brings to the table. Do you want to keep getting better at things, or do you expect the other person to keep getting better? Do you see difficulties as opportunities to learn more about others and yourself?”

3 Ways Your Beliefs Can Shape Your Reality “While the claim that beliefs single-handedly determine our physical health, financial status, and chances at finding love is clearly misguided, the idea that beliefs have power does have some scientific validity. It just works a little differently than books like The Secret suggest. Here are three ways that beliefs really can shape your reality.”

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In this week’s blog, we discussed how to deal with change in your relationship. Here are some articles about this from different perspectives.

How to Get Better at Dealing with Change “Change is an unavoidable constant in our work lives. Sometimes it’s within our control, but most often it’s not. Our jobs or roles change — and not always for the better. Our organizations undergo reorgs and revamp their strategies, and we need to adjust. Fortunately, there are ways to adapt to change, and even to take advantage of it.”

How to Deal with Changes in Your Relationship “Relationships naturally endure many changes, whether it’s moving, starting a new job, spending time apart, getting married, or having children. While some changes can be difficult, there’s no need to see change as a bad thing. By being adaptive and communicating regularly, you and your partner can endure changes in your relationship.”

Change in Relationships: What to Do When Your Partner Changes “Your once sort of neat partner becomes a sloppy mess. Or they start spending more time on the golf course. Or worse, when you first met they wanted to have children, but now say they’re not interested. What do you do when your partner changes in small or big ways?”

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