PHIL: The phrase “belief and intention” is a good description of how we relate. We believe a harmonious relationship is possible, and intend to have one. Our belief comes from various sources. Primarily, we have the experience of a harmonious …
How We Create Peace in Our Relationship by Intending To Do So Read more »
PHIL: When I grasp an idea, it can be like an epiphany. Several of my psychological understandings were like that. The first was reading “I’m OK, You’re OK” as a teenager. It was the first time I learned that we …
How Individuality and a Sense of “We” Can Coexist in a Relationship Read more »
PHIL: Is your relationship a town with unsafe streets, no-go areas and places you might stumble and get hurt? We don’t live there. We simply don’t clash on things. It is totally improbable that we make the same choices time …
Why is Balance Important for Peaceful Relationships? Read more »
This week, we wrote about why it is important to realize the difference between wants, needs and values. There are many differing definitions that people have for wants, needs and values. Here are some writings to the subject. Valuing Our …
PHIL: Listening. We think that if we hear all the words, we are listening, but what happens is that the words fire off all kinds of thoughts in our head – responses, word associations, old feelings – and this can …
The Importance of Learning How to Truly Listen in Your Relationships Read more »
PHIL: Maude and I have taken compromise to mean giving something up in order to get something else – a form of trading that inevitably involves losses – but on a recent course we gave, one participant said “it’s OK …
Why a Positive Attitude is Important to Reach a Successful Compromise Read more »
You can have a relationship without arguments. That may sound like a fairy-tale to you, but it’s not, because that is the way we live, and you can, too. We still disagree at times over what to do or what …
How to Avoid Arguments and Resolve Disagreements in Relationships Read more »
This week in our blog, we discussed how to avoid arguments and resolve disagreements in relationships. Here are some other wise words on how to do this. Beware Of Mistaken Marriage Advice That “All Couples Fight” “Cavemen and cavewomen probably …
PHIL: Many years ago, when I was squatting in London with a bunch of other people, I wrote a proposal that we should all find a place in the country and move there. I even organized a visit to a …
For the New Year, Share Your Loves and Longings in Your Relationships Read more »
PHIL: We’re not primarily writing about sex this week, but it’s a useful place to start. What are the odds that you and your sexual partner become aroused at the same time, say 8:00 PM on Friday? If arousal is …
Our Relationship is Harmonious Because We Want it to Be That Way Read more »