Making lists and keeping score are really bad things to do in a relationship. Making lists is something we do in our minds and is always about something we have not communicated to our partner. They often involve expectations that …
How to Avoid Trouble in Your Relationship: Don’t Keep Score! Read more »
Know yourself, or Thy Self as it were, has been proclaimed by philosophers and religions for thousands of years. A simple enough truth, and yet one that often eludes us. If we had to give one factor that is critical …
You Need to Know Yourself to Have a Good Relationship Read more »
What is it about being right? Why are we all so obsessed with the need for it? Is this really what we want in a relationship, in a conversation, when making decisions and finding solutions? Being right – it’s the …
We so often hear people saying, “If you want a successful relationship, you have to work hard at it.” We have friends whose relationships span decades describing their journey as one of having worked hard to keep it going. There …
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I’ve spent a lifetime in short term relationships. They’ve had a life expectancy of three years. Yet Tuesday is my 8th wedding anniversary. What explanation do I have? On our second date, I told Maude of my relationship history, and her …
We were at a wedding and were captivated by two children playing. They were so filled with joy and the obvious pleasure of being together. Joy is such an important element in relationships, too. It’s easy to find it in …
How to Bring Joy to Relationship Problem Solving Read more »
I’ve been thinking quite a lot about the discussions we’ve had recently concerning power struggles within a relationship. We’ve been talking about John Gottman’s book “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail“. He observed many couples in terms of their conflicts and issues …
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White lies. They’re the lubricant of human interactions. “What an adorable baby!” “No, of course I don’t mind.” “I must have missed your email.” We tell them to make others feel better or to make us look better. They’re seen …
The phrase “complete honesty” brings up many issues immediately. What does it mean? Are little white lies allowed? Does it do more harm than good? In our experience, the answer is clear. Complete honesty is one of the basic foundations …
We’ve all had failed relationships and suffered the inevitable postmortem of what went wrong. Are you starting out a new relationship? Do you want this one to be different? What can you do to make better choices? Questions like these …