Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with , , ,

In this week’s blog we wrote about the three things that every person wants in their relationships: acceptance, appreciation and acknowledgement. Here is what other people have written about these, sometimes choosing slightly different A-words.

The 3As in Relationship Success: Acceptance, Appreciation, Acknowledgement “This is when being able to fully accept your lover is essential. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say, do, or believe. But you have to know that this is who they are. They are not you and for some people this can be upsetting. I know, hard to believe, but it is amazing how many people come into my office wanting me to change their partner — make them understand how incorrect they are in their beliefs and actions. This is non-acceptance at its highest form.”

How To Be An Adult in Relationships – Give The Five A’s of Love “It’s important to know that we never out grow the need to receive attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing.  Giving and receiving the Five A’s of love in your relationship with your significant other can not only bring you closer, but can reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and help fill the void created by childhood relationship trauma. Set an intention to give and receive these dimensions of love in your partnership, marriage or next dating relationship and see how this approach may help improve your relationship and how you feel.”

The 5 As of a Loving Relationship “Ask anyone to describe a loving relationship, and the answers you get will vary enormously. But some things pop up again and again. For David Richo in his book ‘How to be an Adult in Relationships’, there are five key elements that all healthy relationships need attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing. I love discussing these with clients and exploring how each are showing up in their relationship.”

Tagged with: , , ,

By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with , , ,

This week, we wrote about why it’s important to support each other in your relationships. Here are some articles that explore how support contributes to a healthy relationship.

The Importance of Supporting Each Other in a Relationship “Being supportive does not mean doing anything for your partner that makes us uncomfortable. It doesn’t also necessarily mean that we need to try and solve other people’s issues. Part of being supportive is to be really present and a good listener, to not constantly stand in judgment and actually have a sincere and caring disposition. To really hear and understand what the other person is communicating and not allowing our own stuff to get in the way. When someone truly loves and supports you, they will challenge you, stand beside you when you need them and give you space to be yourself and grow as a person.”

12 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship “The importance of doing things together and allowing and supporting each other’s personal growth in a healthy relationship is two-fold: It allows you both to share the things you love with each other, and it gives you the space to be supportive even when something doesn’t fully align with your own individual interests.”

What It Really Means to Have a Supportive Partner “’The best possible thing you can get out of a relationship is that you’re with someone who encourages you to be the best version of yourself every day.’ ~Nishan Panwar. Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you felt supported? When was the last time you felt safe, at home, encouraged, and able to be 100% yourself? If your partner creates a safe space for you to do this, then you are truly blessed. If not, have you ever wondered why you don’t feel safe, supported, and loved?”

Tagged with: , , ,

By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with , ,

This week, we said it’s important to feel the connection in your relationships. These authors examine what constitutes emotional connections, and how to sustain them.

The Importance of Connections on Our Well-Being “Making healthy connections goes beyond simply avoiding feelings of loneliness and isolation. Our relationships impact all dimensions of our well-being, including physical and mental health and our ability to flourish at work and in every other facet of life.”

How to build emotional connection in relationships ”An emotional connection is a special bond that we have with those we know or admire. It’s more than talking about surface level topics, like the weather or what you had for lunch. An emotional connection is  about sharing feelings, being vulnerable, seeking to understand each other, and meeting one another with trust. Having an emotional connection isn’t just about talking either, it’s about feeling close, valued, and cared for by the other person. It’s that comforting feeling you get when you know someone’s there for you, truly listening, and being willing to understand your emotions. Being emotionally connected to a person is about being there for each other through the good times and the hard times. This connection builds trust in a relationship, making it stronger and more meaningful.”

Relationship Connection: 3 Choices that Make or Break It “When partners are emotionally available and are able to discuss both the good and bad things in life, the couple’s attachment bond creates a safe haven that makes both partners feel safe, calm, and emotionally connected. This loving relationship gives us a secure base to expand our sense of self and increase our confidence… When our partners are emotionally unavailable or verbally attack us, our hearts begin to panic. Our thoughts make movies of our partner abandoning or rejecting us… As a result, our attachment alarm goes off, and we either demand they meet our needs or withdraw from the relationship, putting the bond into a toxic tailspin of panic and insecurity.”

Tagged with: , ,

By Posted on Posted in Peace, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with

This week, we wrote about how to find peace and hope through your relationships through silence. Here are some good explanations of their importance, and ways to achieve them.

The Power in Being Still and How to Practice Stillness “Making time for moments of stillness can have powerful mental health benefits. Here are some tips to get you started. Today, stillness can be hard to come by. There’s just so much going on. So much noise both inside and outside our brains, so many tasks on our to-do lists, and at least several screens within reach. According to the Oxford Dictionary, stillness is “the quality of being quiet and not moving.” Moments of stillness are possible even on the busiest of days. They are within our reach whenever we need them.”

Modern Relationships: How Social Media Affects Relationships “Social media has made us more aware of the lives of our loved ones. It helps improve communication and to stay connected to people near and far. But at the same time, it can also cause relationship issues if not used responsibly. Our social media accounts are like windows into our lives that allow us to share what we’re up to and how we feel with others. When overused, this can lead to comparison, feelings of envy, or even feeling left out. Here, we will go over the role of social media in modern relationships.”

Sound of Silence: How to Find Some Quietude in Your Life “This time of quietude is not only one of my favorite parts of my day, but has become an essential part of the day. It soothes the soul, quiets my inner beast, brings out the goodness in me, allows me to hear myself. Having a time of stillness in your life can be similarly wonderful, if you don’t have it already. Let’s take a look at some ways to find quietude in your life and see how the sound of silence can allow your thoughts to emerge.”

Tagged with:

By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with

This week, we wrote about why it’s important to speak your feelings in relationships and when in the best time to express them. Here is some good advice on working with your feelings in the context of a relationship.

How to Express Feelings… and How Not To “We are wired to have feelings. If we express these feelings in off-putting ways, this wiring can invite a disconnect in our relationships. By contrast, expressing feelings in a safe way can lead to our feeling more connected, especially to loved ones. Knowing how to express feelings tactfully is therefore vital if you want to feel close to people and to sustain your relationships.”

How to Express Your Emotions in a Romantic Relationship “Diving into your own emotions can be tough enough. Discussing them with someone else, especially your romantic partner/s, may feel downright overwhelming. But doing so is critical for your relationship: Talking about feelings builds trust and intimacy, says Laura Silverstein, a Pennsylvania-based clinical social worker. “The more vulnerable we are, the closer and more connected we will feel,” says Silverstein…”

How to Express Your Feelings “It’s much easier to share your thoughts, the intellectual information in your brain, than your feelings. Both women and men can have difficulty expressing feelings, although male partners seem to have an even harder time with heart-to-heart communication. Sharing the depth of your feelings in your heart takes emotional risk and courage, as it can make you feel exposed and vulnerable.”

Tagged with: