Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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This week, we said it’s important to feel the connection in your relationships. These authors examine what constitutes emotional connections, and how to sustain them.

The Importance of Connections on Our Well-Being “Making healthy connections goes beyond simply avoiding feelings of loneliness and isolation. Our relationships impact all dimensions of our well-being, including physical and mental health and our ability to flourish at work and in every other facet of life.”

How to build emotional connection in relationships ”An emotional connection is a special bond that we have with those we know or admire. It’s more than talking about surface level topics, like the weather or what you had for lunch. An emotional connection is  about sharing feelings, being vulnerable, seeking to understand each other, and meeting one another with trust. Having an emotional connection isn’t just about talking either, it’s about feeling close, valued, and cared for by the other person. It’s that comforting feeling you get when you know someone’s there for you, truly listening, and being willing to understand your emotions. Being emotionally connected to a person is about being there for each other through the good times and the hard times. This connection builds trust in a relationship, making it stronger and more meaningful.”

Relationship Connection: 3 Choices that Make or Break It “When partners are emotionally available and are able to discuss both the good and bad things in life, the couple’s attachment bond creates a safe haven that makes both partners feel safe, calm, and emotionally connected. This loving relationship gives us a secure base to expand our sense of self and increase our confidence… When our partners are emotionally unavailable or verbally attack us, our hearts begin to panic. Our thoughts make movies of our partner abandoning or rejecting us… As a result, our attachment alarm goes off, and we either demand they meet our needs or withdraw from the relationship, putting the bond into a toxic tailspin of panic and insecurity.”

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This week, we wrote about how to find peace and hope through your relationships through silence. Here are some good explanations of their importance, and ways to achieve them.

The Power in Being Still and How to Practice Stillness “Making time for moments of stillness can have powerful mental health benefits. Here are some tips to get you started. Today, stillness can be hard to come by. There’s just so much going on. So much noise both inside and outside our brains, so many tasks on our to-do lists, and at least several screens within reach. According to the Oxford Dictionary, stillness is “the quality of being quiet and not moving.” Moments of stillness are possible even on the busiest of days. They are within our reach whenever we need them.”

Modern Relationships: How Social Media Affects Relationships “Social media has made us more aware of the lives of our loved ones. It helps improve communication and to stay connected to people near and far. But at the same time, it can also cause relationship issues if not used responsibly. Our social media accounts are like windows into our lives that allow us to share what we’re up to and how we feel with others. When overused, this can lead to comparison, feelings of envy, or even feeling left out. Here, we will go over the role of social media in modern relationships.”

Sound of Silence: How to Find Some Quietude in Your Life “This time of quietude is not only one of my favorite parts of my day, but has become an essential part of the day. It soothes the soul, quiets my inner beast, brings out the goodness in me, allows me to hear myself. Having a time of stillness in your life can be similarly wonderful, if you don’t have it already. Let’s take a look at some ways to find quietude in your life and see how the sound of silence can allow your thoughts to emerge.”

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This week, we wrote about why it’s important to speak your feelings in relationships and when in the best time to express them. Here is some good advice on working with your feelings in the context of a relationship.

How to Express Feelings… and How Not To “We are wired to have feelings. If we express these feelings in off-putting ways, this wiring can invite a disconnect in our relationships. By contrast, expressing feelings in a safe way can lead to our feeling more connected, especially to loved ones. Knowing how to express feelings tactfully is therefore vital if you want to feel close to people and to sustain your relationships.”

How to Express Your Emotions in a Romantic Relationship “Diving into your own emotions can be tough enough. Discussing them with someone else, especially your romantic partner/s, may feel downright overwhelming. But doing so is critical for your relationship: Talking about feelings builds trust and intimacy, says Laura Silverstein, a Pennsylvania-based clinical social worker. “The more vulnerable we are, the closer and more connected we will feel,” says Silverstein…”

How to Express Your Feelings “It’s much easier to share your thoughts, the intellectual information in your brain, than your feelings. Both women and men can have difficulty expressing feelings, although male partners seem to have an even harder time with heart-to-heart communication. Sharing the depth of your feelings in your heart takes emotional risk and courage, as it can make you feel exposed and vulnerable.”

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This week, we wrote about how important tone of voice is to peace in your relationships. Here are some articles on different aspects of this topic.

The Power of Tone of Voice: How It Can Influence Relationships “The tone of voice we use in our relationships can have a significant impact on how we communicate and connect with others. A positive tone of voice can enhance communication, build trust, and promote empathy and emotional connection..”

Improve your tone of voice in communication “In his book, The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman reveals that when it comes to assessing the meaning of communication in relationships, only 7% of that meaning comes from the spoken word, while 38% comes from the tone of voice in communication. Words that may seem neutral can become provoking if spoken with a sarcastic, demeaning or contemptuous tone of voice, causing the listener to feel hurt and disrespected. A soft tone of voice is often interpreted as lack of confidence – but too loud, and you’ll be seen as aggressive. You want your listener to focus on your words, not be distracted by your demeanor. You need to learn how to watch your tone – and use it to get what you want.”

Improving and Watching Your Tone of Voice “How many arguments between couples and friends start because someone misinterpreted what someone else was saying? Have you ever considered that maybe the miscommunication came from how something was said, not what was said?
Some estimates say verbal communication–what you actually say–can be as little as 7% of the conversation. This estimate means that body language and tone of voice may account for the majority of communication between people. Understanding and watching your tone and other nonverbal language may be the key to bettering your relationships with others.”

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This week, we wrote about how to handle discord in your relationship. Here are three writers with advice on what to do.

7 Ways to Reconnect When You Feel Disconnected in Your Relationship “Relationships are always evolving. As much as we wish our relationships were all perfect and conflict-free, that’s just not reality. There may be periods when you feel disconnected from your partner, whether that be romantic or platonic. This can happen for many reasons, and a lot of them might not even have to do with you. If you’re feeling disconnected in your relationship, here are seven tips to help you reconnect.”

When you’re Disconnected “In every relationship, disconnection happens. While it may be normal, it isn’t healthy to linger in the gap of discord. When disconnection seeps into a relationship, what we do with it matters most. Tune into the red flags of disconnection. It might be less time spent together, increasing conflict, less physical touch, or perpetuating silence when you’re in the same room. Red flags vary for each relationship. But there are common feelings that signal disconnect. It’s usually a ping of loneliness, feelings of misunderstanding, and questioning whether you truly matter to your mate.”

The 4Ds of Disconnection in Interpersonal Relationships “Have you ever wondered what’s more fragile than life itself? I ascertain it to be the bonds of interpersonal relationships that we nurture in our lives. Our relationships shape us—they make us as well as break us. We can’t deny the power of relationships in any way possible. However, the question often boils down to whether we’re able to manage our relationships well or not. Chances are we might have felt disconnected even in the healthiest of our relationships. Sometimes our efforts to understand others’ needs and communicate our own doesn’t result in the best of outcomes. It’s no one’s fault because we won’t intentionally treat others the way we wouldn’t like others to treat us. However, we unintentionally or let’s rather say automatically often engage in ways that cause us to disconnect from each other.”

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