MAUDE: I’ve been thinking a lot about my deep relationships with friends, family, and my partner, Phil. What makes those relationships so full of support for my own personal growth, comfort, wisdom, laughter, and relaxation? What brings me the most …
Why Knowing Your Values is so Important for all Your Relationships Read more »
PHIL: Our approach to writing about peaceful relationships is that we very much write about how we are rather than saying what you should do. We don’t know what you need to change to get here, but we know what …
The Art of Undefended Love — How to Create Truly Peaceful Relationships Read more »
“O, wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us!” Robert Burns PHIL: Maude met with someone from her past who reminisced about how he remembered her, and this blew Maude’s mind because her recollection …
PHIL: Maude posted a meme on Facebook: “Be loving today – you can be right tomorrow” that generated an unusually enthusiastic response. Why were people so taken with this attitude? Let’s first consider why we like to be right. We …
PHIL: When we talk about peace with people who have not experienced it directly, they conceive of it as an absence. It has long been associated with death—the Latin, “Resquiescat in pace,” or R.I.P., stems from the eighth century. But …
PHIL: It’s time to talk directly about being present. We have mentioned it recently when writing about other topics like listening, paying attention, and hanging out. But what does it involve? I have written elsewhere that we have a verbal …
You Can’t Love If You’re Not There: Why Presence Matters Read more »
MAUDE: Pay attention! Listen! These seem like rather simple admonishments. And yet, so many of us find it very challenging to do so. Listening to others with an open heart and full attention seems to have become almost a lost …
How Attentive Listening Strengthens Your Relationships Read more »
MAUDE: Peaceful relationships are attractive. Once you have experienced the kind of deep calm and relaxation that such a connection provides, it is natural to want more. Developing these kinds of interactions through the many methods we outline in our …
How Peaceful Relationships Create the Freedom to Be Yourself Read more »
Here’s a conversation we had the other night about why differences aren’t a problem for us. They don’t need to be a problem for you, either. PHIL: Let me try and describe the nature of our relationship. I look at …
Why Differences Don’t Need to Create Problems in Your Relationships Read more »
PHIL: Respect. Like many words, it has come to have several meanings. There is deference: you should respect your parents or pay your respects to someone. But in a relationship, it has a different meaning. When we started to talk …
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