Meditation 6
I was sitting once when I had a sudden sense that I was the breath. Several sits later, that experience remained. An image that came to mind was of two fields separated by a wire fence; one the field of …
Author: Phil
The Golden Rule
Dear Maude, I like your AAA Post – that we all want to be accepted, appreciated and acknowledged. You hint in the title “Do Unto Others…” of a necessary symmetry, which is, of course, the golden rule: do as you …
Meditation 5
Descartes said “I think, therefore I am”, and elevated the mind, the user of words, to the primary way of knowing. But if I do not think, does it follow that I do not exist? Of course not. And what …
What a Good Relationship Needs
It seems we’re both reaching the conclusion that you must have worked* on yourself before you can achieve a conflict-free relationship. And what does “work” mean? It means Using self reflection to know yourself. Being able to step back and …
Each Partner Needs to Accept the Other
I understand where you’re coming from on this, but my first reaction was whether our visitors would. Then I thought about why they might not get it, and decided that would be for one of two reasons: they can’t find …
Acceptance is not “Putting Up With”
We talk a lot about acceptance, but people often reject it because they take it to mean “having to put up with“, so I want to examine in more detail how and where it applies. The acceptability of actions lies …
Finding acceptance
It’s pretty clear that one key to a good relationship is complete acceptance of the other. All their actions are OK; nothing is barred or criticized. By doing so, you offer a safe space for the other to be in. …
Being In a Hurry
Dear Maude: It was after zooming through Trader Joe’s that you asked “What would life be like if we were never in a hurry?” That was a very illuminating question for me. It brought up images of summer holidays, of …
Knowing Who You Are
Dear Maude, I wrote about “knowing what your own goals are”, and you wrote “you need to have spent time learning about yourself”, so we’re both acknowledging the importance that knowing yourself has in a successful relationship. The better you …
The Requirements for Acceptance
Choices
Acceptance of the other means letting them do their own thing (pardon my 60’s). If we see them as less skilled or capable than us, the temptation is to chide them or correct them, but these are parental responses. Even …