PHIL: COVID-19, politics, global warming. Even with these, I’d much rather be alive now than during the Great Plague, yet it’s still very unsettling to realize that in all three areas, life may never return to the way it was. …

Why Both Comfort and Novelty are Important for All Your Relationships Read more »

Whether you are struggling in a partnership, a familial relationship or a close friendship, the challenge remains the same: how do you care for your individual needs and desires and still manifest cooperation? Our answer to this is always the …

How Does Knowing Yourself Help You Find Mutual Solutions In Relationships? Read more »

PHIL: We’re not primarily writing about sex this week, but it’s a useful place to start. What are the odds that you and your sexual partner become aroused at the same time, say 8:00 PM on Friday? If arousal is …

Our Relationship is Harmonious Because We Want it to Be That Way Read more »

Last week we celebrated our wedding anniversary by going up to Scotts Valley and visiting the Redwoods. We stayed in a great AirBnB set apart on a lovely big property in the woods and had a wonderful four days. On …

Why You Benefit From Both Separation and Connection in Your Relationships Read more »

PHIL: The threefold crises of the pandemic, democratic collapse and global warming feel unprecedented, yet there were also earlier periods when people felt their world was irretrievably upended. From a diary of the time: “There’s no word I can start …

Why You Need to Remain Flexible in a Time of Great Change Read more »

PHIL: Nearly every night Maude and I retire early, do the New York Times crossword, read out loud, watch Netflix and generally hang out together. We’ve come to call this time our Sacred Space – a time we spend away …

Why You Should Take the Time and Attention to Honor Your Relationships Read more »

PHIL: Do you know that feeling of satisfaction that comes from working with someone on a project? It might be sweeping leaves or planning an event. Perhaps it’s cooking together or being on a sports team. Working with other people …

Remember the Shared Purpose at the Heart of Your Relationship Read more »