Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

By Posted on Posted in Presence, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating

This week we blogged about the importance of being present in life and in your relationship. Here are some great articles about this crucial aspect of living successfully.

The Mindful Couple “As a couples relationship therapist, the question I have always pondered is, can you be mindful or fully present in your relationship? (For the purposes of this post, mindfulness and being fully present will be used synonymously.) I have found the answer to be yes. Not only can you be mindful and present in your relationship, when you add mindfulness to your relationship, it has the potential to be a transformative journey towards healing and wholeness.”

How to Foster Better Relationships Just by Being Present “I love to pose a question in my journal and watch carefully for the myriad responses from The Universe. I always know how much attention something needs based on the quantity and clarity of the answers I receive. Lately I’ve been pondering the question: How can I be a better sister, daughter, and friend? The Universe has been responding with a metric truckload of answers. The common theme? Get present.”

How To Be More Present In Your Relationship “There’s definitely an art to living in the present, and it’s not as easy as it seems. There’s always something else to think and worry about, and that can seriously take us out of the moment. Being present is important in every aspect of life, but it can be particularly important when it comes to our romantic relationships. Here’s how to get better at it:”

By Posted on Posted in Peace, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating

This week we blogged about making time for peace in your relationship. Here are some really interesting articles that cover the topics in this blog.

What Is Your Sense Of Peace? “When you’re at peace – when you are engaged with life while also feeling relatively relaxed, calm, and safe – you are protected from stress, your immune system grows stronger, and you become more resilient. Your outlook brightens and you see more opportunities. In relationships, feeling at peace prevents overreactions, increases the odds of being treated well by others, and supports you in being clear and direct when you need to be.”

How Walking in Nature Changes the Brain “A walk in the park may soothe the mind and, in the process, change the workings of our brains in ways that improve our mental health, according to an interesting new study of the physical effects on the brain of visiting nature. Most of us today live in cities and spend far less time outside in green, natural spaces than people did several generations ago. City dwellers also have a higher risk for anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses than people living outside urban centers, studies show.”

Try Something New Together – Research Shows Engaging In “Self-Expanding Activities” Rekindles The Sexual Desire Of Long-Term Couples “People have a basic drive to learn and develop and to see themselves and the world in new ways. That’s according to the psychologists Arthur Aron and Elaine Aron, who refer to this as our need for “self-expansion”. It follows from their theory that any chance to self-expand should be rewarding, and that if you can self-expand while doing things with your romantic partner then your relationship will benefit. Previous research has hinted that this is the case, finding that when couples engaged in self-expanding activities together – anything that felt new, exciting, interesting and/or challenging – their satisfaction with their relationship increased.”

By Posted on Posted in Core Values, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating

This week we blogged about core values and how they affect your relationship. Here are some helpful articles that also discuss this topic.

The key for a successful relationship: Aligned values “Aligned values are one the most important things in any relationship. Whether it is with your life partner or business partner, aligned or misaligned values will define the success or failure of a relationship from day one. I like to visualise this as a pyramid, where at the very top you have your values, and below that, you have your life vision, then your objectives, and then at the bottom, your interests.”

7 Ways to Tell If You’ll Work as a Couple Long-Term “Seven core value types have been identified as universal—acknowledged and ascribed to around the globe. So no matter where you live, chances are strong that you have already formed your own personal values, to some degree, in the seven areas listed below. Research also indicates that relationships that are built on shared values are much more likely to endure—sure, a fantastic lover offers thrills and chills, but someone who shares your core values will be by your side once the early excitement subsides and the goosebumps disappear.”

Understanding Your Core Values in Relationships (No They’re Not Your Common Interests) “One of the things that people are most confused about and that I get asked a lot of questions about, is the issue of ‘common interests’ and letting superficial things inadvertently get mixed in with your ‘core’ values. Over the past few days I’ve been talking about value and values in relationships, and in this post, I put a clear division between the nice to have stuff that doesn’t actually cause your relationship to endure unless you have the ‘core’ values covered off.”

By Posted on Posted in Friday Feature, Love, Reading, Relationships Tagged with ,

Today we’re pleased to feature Karen Haddigan, author of  Secrets of Dating After Fifty: The Insider’s Guide to Finding Love Again.

Karen writes and does presentations on online dating for those just returning to the dating scene. She offers up-to-date information on its changes, and works with people in the area of reinventing themselves after crisis like loss or divorce of a partner.

Her book, Secrets of Dating After Fifty, takes readers on a wild ride in the search to find love later in life, where the dating landscape has completely changed, potential partners are served up online and there are no rules for how to behave.Book cover: Dating after Fifty

Humorous, insightful and blushingly candid, Secrets pulls no punches. It explores everything from the re-awakening of your inner teenager to sex with aging bodies, how to avoid dates from hell and why you should never ask your married friends for dating advice.

Karen Haddigan has been a TV comedy writer, amateur actor, tree-planter, real estate agent/investor, single mother and professional mediator. She was a senior instructor in a Conflict Resolution program at the Justice Institute of BC, Canada, for seventeen years, where she authored a training manual for mediators.

Are you recently single, over 50 and feeling like a dinosaur in the modern world of dating? Well, buckle up because Secrets of Dating After Fifty is here to help.

You can connect with Karen on Facebook or on her website.

 

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By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with

This week we blogged about how a successful relationship easily handles time apart. We wrote a very personal story, but here are some articles on the topic time together, time apart.

Be Apart to Stay Together “No one expected the typically close-mouthed Barbra Steisand to share something so personal on Katie last month, the new TV talk show. But when Katie Couric asked her about the secret to her happy 14-year marriage to James Brolin, Barbra revealed her secret, without hesitation. Barbra and James spend time apart.”

Time Together and Time Apart “In our last article we talked about how friends have a powerful effect on our marriage and our personal emotional health. Beyond providing emotional support in our time of need, spending time with others helps to strengthen our identification as a couple and make us feel connected to the world. Just as important for a successful marriage is the amount of time couples spend doing things with each other, without other couples.”

Why Time Is Important in Relationships “Often times people think that the solution to every problem in a relationship is to spend more time together, more closeness. That can actually do harm to a loving relationship. Can you truly desire what you never miss? Spend too much time together and contempt can block out any appreciation for your partner. I think of it as self-induced cabin fever. Making some time for your individual self allows you to practice self care as well as miss the people in your life that you love.”

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