Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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In this week’s blog we asked if there are more successful relationships than you think. It was difficult to find articles directly pertaining to this topic, but here are some interesting ones on what makes successful relationships.

What Research Tells Us About the Most Successful Relationships “While a perfect relationship might be beyond the grasp of science, studies on what makes a relationship successful are everywhere. Over the years, these studies have come up with some trends that help us better understand what sets a long lasting relationship apart from one that ends quickly.”

1,500 People Give All the Relationship Advice You’ll Ever Need “I sent out the call the week before my wedding: anyone who has been married for 10+ years and is still happy in their relationship, what lessons would you pass down to others if you could? What is working for you and your partner? And if you are divorced, what didn’t work previously?”

The 12 Ties that Bind Long-Term Relationships “The surprising findings of this study, reported in the prestigious journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, showed not only that many people were still in love even after 10 years of marriage, but also which factors predicted the strength of their passion…. A whopping 40 percent of those married 10 years or more stated that they were “Very intensely in love”—the highest rating on the scale.”

 

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This week in our blog we discussed how being all in helps your relationship. Here are some articles discussing this topic.

Are You Fully Present in Your Relationship or Marriage? “You know that feeling you get when you’re talking to your partner or spouse and they don’t seem to be “there there?” By that, I mean, a part of them is somewhere else, and it’s not with you. You might wonder where their mind is, or feel insulted or hurt that they’re not being fully present in your company.”

Are You Being Fully Present In Your Relationship? “Being fully present in a relationship – how hard is that? Is it too much of an ask for a generation that boasts of being busy, being multi-taskers and virtually connected all the time? We take pride in “being busy” so much so that being busy has become a confirmation of our worthiness. A relationship sometime gets lost in our long “to-do” list.”

In The Moment: Staying Present in Your Relationship “IMAGINE AN ELDERLY COUPLE, hand in hand, strolling through your local farmer’s market. The sweetness, the gentleness, the blissfulness inevitably prompt thoughts of, I want that someday. An eagerness to dream about a relationship’s future— or similarly, to dwell in its past— steers us from enjoying the moment. The kind of timeless moment you witnessed the elderly couple having as they strolled through the market.”

 

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This week in our blog we discussed how little changes can have big results. Here are some interesting discussions of the effect of little changes in your relationship.

9 New Ways to Deepen Your Relationship Bond “If you’re in a happy partnership, married or not, you can keep it that way or make it even better by introducing a few new behaviors and small changes into the relationship. While many relationship experts say you need to focus on fixing what’s wrong, my research shows that adding positive behaviors to the relationship has a much greater impact on couples’ happiness.”

Small Changes Make Big Differences “in all the research I’ve done over the years, it is clear that having a great marriage or healing a broken one is usually dependent on the little things, not the big ones! And hundreds of marriage therapists have confirmed this. Most marriage breakdowns are not caused by what you might call the deep, systemic big-ticket problems—for example, by one spouse being a blackout alcoholic or having been sexually abused as a child. Those problems do happen and it is tragic when they do, but they aren’t the majority of cases.”

13 Small Changes that Greatly Improve Your Relationship “Change is not an easy thing to make in a relationship, especially if you’ve been together long-term. It’s not uncommon for couples to sink so deeply into habits and routines that they forget to put effort into their relationship, or they simply can’t tell the difference between what works and what doesn’t anymore…. Well, the good news is that you can change everything about your current situation and empower your relationship. It doesn’t even take massive effort on your part. All you need to do is to implement the tiniest of changes in your routine. and you’ll be shocked at how much of a positive impact it’ll have on your relationship and your life.”

 

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This week in our blog we discussed giving and receiving love, and we’ve found some great articles about this.

5 Reasons Why Receiving Is Harder Than Giving “…there are hidden downsides to prioritizing giving over receiving. I’m referring to interpersonal relating, not social policy, which could use a hearty dose of the golden rule. Is it difficult for you to receive love, caring, and compliments? Do you silently squirm inside when someone offers a kind word or a present—or do you allow yourself to deeply receive the gift of kindness, caring, and connection?”

How To Strike the Right Balance Between Giving and Receiving Love “Love is not a balance sheet. Having said that, we don’t wish to be the one that is giving all of the time or receiving all of the time as it can create resentment on the part of the giver. So, how do we balance this? Give when you desire to give and don’t give when you consider the giving an obligation. This is being respectful of you.”

The Importance of Learning How to Receive Love “Why is receiving seen as such a negative thing? It can be seen as selfish, taking, needy, wrong, etc. Yet receiving is half of the equation for reciprocity – without a receiver, you can’t have a giver…. It’s almost like as a society we have all been given this message that the highest form of value is to give, and that value is determined by whoever gives the most or whoever serves the most.”

 

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This week we discussed celebrating your relationship in our blog. Here are some articles for your consideration:

8 Ways to Celebrate Your Husband (or Wife). Tonight! “A friend recently called to tell me that it had taken her a week to notice that her husband shaved off his beard. When she realized how different he looked without facial hair, she was distraught. ‘What does that say about our relationship that I didn’t notice,’ she asked me. ‘Do I ever really look at him?'”

Celebrate Your Relationship – 3 Evolutionary Ways For Men “When you notice other couples who you admire and would like to have what they have, what do you notice? Do you see a couple who are comfortable with themselves and each other or do you see a couple at odds? Are they happy and at ease in each other’s company or is their energy kind of jangly? I will go out on a limb here and say, I bet they have discovered the importance of celebrating (and evolving) their relationship.”

23 Ways to Celebrate Your Marriage “‘It’s not the traditional stuff — the big dinner out once a year, or even the regular Saturday-night dates — that pulls you together and bonds you,’ says Constance Ahrons, Ph.D. ‘It’s little bits of time stolen together and small, frequent gestures that remind you of what you have in common and your commitment to each other.'”

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