Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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This week in our blog we discussed giving and receiving love, and we’ve found some great articles about this.

5 Reasons Why Receiving Is Harder Than Giving “…there are hidden downsides to prioritizing giving over receiving. I’m referring to interpersonal relating, not social policy, which could use a hearty dose of the golden rule. Is it difficult for you to receive love, caring, and compliments? Do you silently squirm inside when someone offers a kind word or a present—or do you allow yourself to deeply receive the gift of kindness, caring, and connection?”

How To Strike the Right Balance Between Giving and Receiving Love “Love is not a balance sheet. Having said that, we don’t wish to be the one that is giving all of the time or receiving all of the time as it can create resentment on the part of the giver. So, how do we balance this? Give when you desire to give and don’t give when you consider the giving an obligation. This is being respectful of you.”

The Importance of Learning How to Receive Love “Why is receiving seen as such a negative thing? It can be seen as selfish, taking, needy, wrong, etc. Yet receiving is half of the equation for reciprocity – without a receiver, you can’t have a giver…. It’s almost like as a society we have all been given this message that the highest form of value is to give, and that value is determined by whoever gives the most or whoever serves the most.”

 

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This week we discussed celebrating your relationship in our blog. Here are some articles for your consideration:

8 Ways to Celebrate Your Husband (or Wife). Tonight! “A friend recently called to tell me that it had taken her a week to notice that her husband shaved off his beard. When she realized how different he looked without facial hair, she was distraught. ‘What does that say about our relationship that I didn’t notice,’ she asked me. ‘Do I ever really look at him?'”

Celebrate Your Relationship – 3 Evolutionary Ways For Men “When you notice other couples who you admire and would like to have what they have, what do you notice? Do you see a couple who are comfortable with themselves and each other or do you see a couple at odds? Are they happy and at ease in each other’s company or is their energy kind of jangly? I will go out on a limb here and say, I bet they have discovered the importance of celebrating (and evolving) their relationship.”

23 Ways to Celebrate Your Marriage “‘It’s not the traditional stuff — the big dinner out once a year, or even the regular Saturday-night dates — that pulls you together and bonds you,’ says Constance Ahrons, Ph.D. ‘It’s little bits of time stolen together and small, frequent gestures that remind you of what you have in common and your commitment to each other.'”

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In this week’s blog we asked if you were too snippy in your relationship. Snippiness is not a common topic, so some of these discuss contempt.

Relationship Communication: How to Talk So That Your Partner Will Listen “The guidelines for being a good listener are not just for men. These guidelines for listening and communication apply to both men and women, straight and gay, and for friendships as well. Good communication and good listening are also part of negotiating in business, as well. And, of course, rationality and problem-solving are also important.”

My boyfriend gets this impatient tone “Dear Cary, I really don’t want to say it out loud, but is kind of a stay-or-go issue. It’s about the way my boyfriend talks to me. A few times a day he gets this impatient tone in his voice that I find disrespectful and offensive. We have been together four years, and this has bothered me from the beginning. I tend to be a very sensitive person, especially in relationships, and when he has this tone, I can feel myself turning into myself and closing up.”

Overcoming Hostility, Criticism and Contempt in Your Relationships This article gives a large number of examples of people expressing contempt and hostility, and gives solutions to handle this behavior.

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In this week’s blog we wrote about celebrating the many forms of love on Valentines Day. Here are some articles you might enjoy.

The 4 Types of Love We Should All Experience “Love is so nuanced that the Ancient Greeks separated it into four different types. I firmly believe that experiencing all four types of love within someone’s life is important for spiritual growth and emotional happiness.”

Different Types of Love “Most of the times, love is mistaken to be linked romantically only. And when this happens, people often fail to comprehend that love has a myriad of hues than just that. There are different types of love that people experience in life and each time they experience a particular type of love, they realize its existence in the world.”

History of Valentine’s Day “The history of Valentine’s Day–and the story of its patron saint–is shrouded in mystery. We do know that February has long been celebrated as a month of romance, and that St. Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. But who was Saint Valentine, and how did he become associated with this ancient rite?”

 

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In this week’s blog we wrote about attention and why it is so important in all relationships. Here are some articles discussing that.

Pay Attention. Is This The Simplest Relationship Key? “Experts also point out that paying attention to your partner is not something that always comes naturally. Once the honeymoon period is over (and you no longer find everything they say absolutely fascinating!), it’s easy to substitute genuine interest for routine chit-chat.”

Marriage and Paying Attention “couples got so busy with the details of their hurly-burly lives that they forgot why they got together in the first place. The “we” got lost. Who has time for courting or fooling around or taking a walk or doing nothing when every hour and minute has been preempted by the unlimited details of the modern, upscale, child-centered suburban quest for a better lifestyle in a bigger house in a better neighborhood? You have so much to do that it’s hard to pay attention to your spouse, to be sensitive when he or she needs some downtime, some solitude with the soulmate, a little smooching or TLC.”

The Price of a Great Relationship? Paying Attention “Paul says she’s not the only one who feels that way. All he ever hears from her is that he’s supposed to remember to pick the kids up from school on Tuesday, or that it’s the night to take the trash to the curb, or not to forget that Nan’s recital is Friday night. What they both so desperately want from each other is simply some personal attention. It’s what we all want from each other, in all of our personal relationships.”

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