Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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In this week’s blog, we discussed why you need to feed your relationship. These articles offer lots of good suggestions about this topic.

10 Small Acts in a Relationship That Are Actually a Really Big Deal “There is an important distinction to be made in relationships between people who pay attention to detail, and people who don’t. The first type are people who don’t usually go all-out on the big things like extravagant gifts or getaways for special occasions, but they don’t do small things like take care of you while you are sick or go to pick up a prescription at CVS.”

The Single Best Thing You Can Do for Your Relationship “When we think of what we can do to nurture our relationship, we often think of tangibles. Buy her diamond earrings. Take her out to an elegant dinner. Surprise him by wearing sexy lingerie. Buy flowers and chocolate. Take a romantic trip together. While all of these things certainly won’t hurt your relationship (at all!), they aren’t necessarily the strongest ways to connect with your loved one. The deeper component has more to do with how you interact together rather than what you do together. It’s called validation. Consistent, thoughtful validation of your partner’s thoughts and feelings is the best thing you can do for your relationship.”

Best Relationship Tip Ever? Pay Attention to Your Partner! “It’s easy to get into a rut. Sometimes we take the people we love the most for granted. They deserve the biggest part of our attention, but we frequently find ourselves giving them the least. This is incredibly common. It seems life just gets in the way. With so many distractions, it can seem impossible to get it right.If you’re finding yourself nodding along as you’re reading this, then you’re in the right spot. It seems like everyone has some love advice they’re eager to share. But what is truly the best relationship tip to help you turn this situation around? Pay attention to your partner!”

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In this week’s blog, we asked why is empathy important in your relationship? These articles share interesting studies and viewpoints on this topic. Oh, and Happy Valentines Day!

The Power of Empathy in Romantic Relationships & How to Enhance It ““Empathy is truly the heart of the relationship,” said Carin Goldstein, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “Without it, the relationship will struggle to survive.” That’s because empathy requires compassion. And, without compassion, couples can’t develop a bond. “[A] bond is like glue: If there is no glue then everything falls apart.””

6 Ways to Nurture Empathy in Intimate Relationships “Having empathy applies to all walks of life and professions, from romance, friendships, parenting to politics. In his early research, Carl Rogers defined empathy as perceiving the internal frame of another person. He said that maintaining an empathetic way involves being sensitive moment by moment to the changing felt meanings that flow in the other person. “It means temporarily living in the other’s life, moving about in it delicately without making judgements; it means sensing meanings of which he or she is scarcely aware, but not trying to uncover totally unconscious feelings…””

9 Ways To Be More Empathetic To Your Partner & Feel More Connected, According To Experts “To have a healthy, strong relationship, it’s important for you and your partner to feel deeply connected with each other. While it may be easier to maintain this during the honeymoon phase, being vulnerable in your relationship and finding ways to be more empathetic to your partner can help with strengthening that emotional bond. Being empathetic means you’re aware of someone’s emotions from their perspective; you feel what they feel. Although it’s important to be empathetic in every personal connection you have, it’s vital to maintaining a long-lasting romantic relationship with your partner.”

Here’s a late addition: a BBC video on teaching empathy:

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about how to avoid annoyed in your relationship. These articles cover the issues of touch, dealing with anger and talking about feelings.

The Power of Touch “Hertenstein had volunteers attempt to communicate a list of emotions to a blindfolded stranger solely through touch. Many participants were apprehensive about the experiment. “This is a touch-phobic society,” he says. “We’re not used to touching strangers, or even our friends, necessarily.” But touch they did—it was, after all, for science. The results suggest that for all our caution about touching, we come equipped with an ability to send and receive emotional signals solely by doing so. Participants communicated eight distinct emotions—anger, fear, disgust, love, gratitude, sympathy, happiness, and sadness—with accuracy rates as high as 78 percent. “I was surprised,” Hertenstein admits. “I thought the accuracy would be at chance level,” about 25 percent.”

12 Creative Ways to Deal With Angry People Without Strangling Them to Death “Ancient wisdom traditions, especially Buddhism, invites us to take matters into our hands and look deeply into the nature of our mind in order to find the true source of our suffering. Buddha’s advice on how to deal with angry people is simple, profound and involves three steps
1. Examine your own mind,
2. Examine the mind of other person,
3. Use skillful means to make peace.”

How to Talk About Feelings With Your Romantic Partner “…recent research has shown that even just naming a feeling, without doing anything else, can lessen the intensity of the emotion and help us manage it better. On the other hand, when you ask your partner to tell you how he or she feels, you often have an agenda. That agenda most likely puts pressure on your partner. And that pressure makes it hard for him or her to label the feelings honestly, which then means that your partner doesn’t get the benefit of naming the feelings, and you end up feeling hurt, angry, and/or betrayed.”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about how to make all your relationships successful. Here are some fascinating articles that speak to this topic.

Why Positive Relationships Are Needed for Emotional Health “It’s always good to see research that reveals how and why positive human connection in essential for emotional-physical health, wellbeing, and growth — especially when you experience adverse circumstances. A new study, reported in Personality and Social Psychology Review adds to that knowledge.”

5 Benefits of Healthy Relationships “Humans have an inherent desire to be close to other people. To connect and build relationships. While a man stranded on an island, talking to a volleyball (you remember the movie!) isn’t necessarily “healthy,” his compulsion for company is. That’s because the fact of the matter is, healthy relationships (romantic relationships, friendships, familial relationships — they all count!) can help make for a healthier overall life. But what exactly does a healthy relationship look like?”

Social Relationships and Health: A Flashpoint for Health Policy NIH paper with links to research: “Studies show that social relationships have short- and long-term effects on health, for better and for worse, and that these effects emerge in childhood and cascade throughout life to foster cumulative advantage or disadvantage in health. This article describes key research themes in the study of social relationships and health, and it highlights policy implications suggested by this research.”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about 5 important things for a new relationship. Here are some more suggestions for establishing a successful relationship.

Don’t Start A New Relationship Until You’ve Done These 4 Things “… Over the next few years, I attended support groups and coaching sessions, shed tears over past choices, spent nights reading personal growth books, and tried to make sense of the madness of this new frontier. At some point, I realized I was done. I had faced my demons. And while my past would always be a part of me, I was truly ready to move forward. Here are most important lessons I learned about finding true, lasting love:”

What Research Tells Us About the Most Successful Relationships “While a perfect relationship might be beyond the grasp of science, studies on what makes a relationship successful are everywhere. Over the years, these studies have come up with some trends that help us better understand what sets a long lasting relationship apart from one that ends quickly.”

5 Steps to Take Before Starting a New Relationship “Forget “The Rules.” Stop believing “He’s just not into you.” In fact, skip all the self-help confusion that instructs you on how to morph yourself into the perfect match for Mr. (or Ms.) Right. People who are genuinely happy with their romantic choices spend more energy working on their own self-development than on appearing a certain way to attract love. Instead of focusing on playing the game to entice a partner, put your focus on these five principles and, over time, the right match for you will present itself:”

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