MAUDE: Last night Phil and I were sitting together, and we started talking about how each of us was feeling. The conversation wasn’t about anything big or life-changing. It turned out that neither of us was feeling really right, but …
Why Communicating Strengthens the Connection in Your Relationships Read more »
MAUDE: Most relationship experts list communication as one of the most important kinds of exchanges between people. Phil and I feel this way as well, but it is the kind of communicating that is important to us. In the early …
How Communicating From Your True Self Deepens Your Relationships Read more »
PHIL: We’ve written in the past about white lies, and that while social graces help us all live together harmoniously, within close relationships, they reduce trust, an essential part of a peaceful relationship. I was recently downvoted on Reddit for …
Why Is Your Truth So Important In Relationships? Read more »
MAUDE: As I continue on this year’s adventure of spending intimate time with those with whom I have deep relationships, I keep learning more about myself. This has been one of the unexpected and profound realizations as I experience these …
Speaking directly doesn’t happen naturally because we all create a persona for the outside world. It’s easy to take that feeling into a relationship, but here’s why that is a bad idea: it’s a limitation on feeling our full self; we cannot sit comfortably at the center of our being.
You don’t need to feel tension around differences when you are on the same side and both want the best possible outcome. Even when handling bigger issues, know you can find a way to handle things that will make both of you feel right about it.
We do well with deep listening and lack of interruptions when consciously working to solve something. And yet in day to day conversations we encounter a different behavior. Not only do we burst into each other’s talking, but we each point out the other is doing it and feel irritated.
When you have an initial negative reaction to other people, move closer to an attitude of embracing them as a first response. This is the way of acceptance, non-judgment and the joyful appreciation of what others have to say and how they express it.
Understanding core values and learning what yours are is foundational to creating peaceful harmonious relationships. We differentiate values from wants and needs on a spectrum of ever-increasing importance. This scale starts with wants which are the most ephemeral, moves through needs, and then to values which rarely change.
We are completely undefended with each other because we both know that neither of us is ever going to attack the other. We are not in competition. There is never any energy emanating from a desire for power or dominance.