Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about how to handle anger in your relationship. These links discuss how to deal with both your anger and that of your partner.

Anger in Relationships: Owning Yours, Softening Your Partner’s “Anger is not a sign that your relationship is doomed to fail. Anger is an emotion that we all experience, and it signifies that something has to be done. Anger makes you aware that there is a problem. How you deal with your anger can become a big part of the problem. For some couples, anger can make it nearly impossible to figure out what the problem is and how to fix it. For most couples, anger itself is not the problem. What becomes problematic is how partners deal with their anger and how well they deal with their partner’s.”

Dealing with Anger in a Relationship “Most days, we can conceal our anger from people at work or at school. But this “beast within” is practically impossible to hide from our significant other. Some of us respond to this vulnerability by lashing out at our partner. Others retreat and coil tight emotionally. Neither of these reactions, however, leads to a healthy relationship. The appropriate response is more human … and requires more courage.”

How to Deal With an Angry Partner “The biggest challenge of living with a resentful or angry person is to keep from becoming one yourself—or else, the high contagion and reactivity of resentment and anger are likely to make you into someone you are not. The second biggest challenge in staying in a relationship with a resentful or angry person is trying to get him or her to change.”

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In this week’s blog, we asked what overlooked things are important in a successful relationship. Here are some good posts offering their answers.

Ten Elements of Effective Relationships “The other day, a friend pointed out that I very often write from the perspective of what people are doing wrong, as opposed to what they are doing right. Well, here are some things that I have found to be effective elements in a successful relationship; the right stuff.”

What Research Tells Us About the Most Successful Relationships “There’s no single ‘formula’ to a perfect relationship. However, we’ve studied an awful lot about what successful couples do. Everyone’s relationships are a bit different, but we can take away a lot from what we know works. While a perfect relationship might be beyond the grasp of science, studies on what makes a relationship successful are everywhere. Over the years, these studies have come up with some trends that help us better understand what sets a long lasting relationship apart from one that ends quickly.”

Relationships – tips for success “A ‘good relationship’ means different things to different people. However, good adult relationships generally involve two people who respect each other, can communicate, and have equal rights, opportunities and responsibilities. Most people would also expect their relationship with their partner to include love, intimacy, sexual expression, commitment, compatibility and companionship.”

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In this week’s blog, we discuss how being intolerant keeps your relationship in balance. Here are some postings on balance in relationships.

How to Balance a Healthy Love Relationship “Life’s emotional ups and downs can cause conflict in a relationship. Recognize that your partner may react to and solve her problems in a different manner than you do. Avoid taking your stress out on each other. Remain open to change and confront problems as they arise.”

The Happy Couple Cheat Sheet: 15 Steps to a Balanced and Happy Marriage (Relationship) “I would like to share my experience of a happy and balanced marriage. I hope that maybe these tips will help some couples to live happily ever after.”

Relationship Advice: How to Have a More Balanced Relationship “Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about relationships. Specifically, I’ve been trying to figure out how to have more balance in all my relationships. Because even when you think everything is fine, you may find out that people you care about or work with (or both) feel otherwise.”

 

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I, Phil, wrote about how to reach union in your relationship in this week’s blog, and found it hard to find good links. Maude is the link-finding expert! A couple of these are on consciousness, which is for me a perennial fascination.

Healing Relationships Through Compassion and Connection “When we choose to make our relationship with our partner a spiritual practice, we enter a sacred journey of ever-deepening love and freedom. The path is challenging, yet with purity of intention and clear attention, the very circumstances that threaten to drive us apart can open the gateway to the blessings of communion.”

Consciousness: Who’s at the Wheel? is one of a series of conversations; here they discuss the idea that our sensory experience is necessarily coupled with the world: “You’re leaving something rather large out of the equation. In the case of pressing the button, for example, you’ve forgotten the button. In the case of John’s kiss, you’ve forgotten Mary’s lips. You are speaking as if the brain were entirely separate from what is outside our bodies.”

How Does The Human Brain Create Consciousness? “Does the brain create consciousness? I’m not so sure. At the very least, I know that no neuroscientist has caught the brain “red-handed” in the act of creating consciousness. The standard materialist position is that consciousness is tied up with the brain. There is plenty of evidence that the brain influences consciousness (and vice versa!), ranging from studies of brain damage to the well-known effects of mind-altering chemicals. The problem with going any further than this correlational fact is that no one knows how to define consciousness from an objective, third-person perspective. We only have access to one consciousness: our own.”

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In this week’s blog, we discuss how to keep your relationship in the honeymoon phase. Here are some postings we think you’ll enjoy.

Can the Honeymoon Phase Last Forever? “A recent New York Times article told us something we already knew, but don’t like to hear: Newlyweds enjoy a big happiness boost that lasts, on average, for just two years. Of course, you may have heard that once or twice from me. But the NYT says it a lot better:”

The “Honeymoon” Period Of Relationships Explained “The honeymoon period of relationships – how can psychology explain it? and does the honeymoon period actually have to end? This is not to claim its the one size fits all answer but if you give this some thought you may find there is quite a bit of truth in this.”

18 Signs the Honeymoon Phase of Your Relationship Never Ended Eighteen snippets of advice that we liked.

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