Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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In this week’s blog, we discussed the best way to support your partner. Here are some other writers’ thoughts about this.

5 Essentials to Having a Healthy Relationship “Everyone deserves to be in a healthy, loving relationship and with the right person by your side, a healthy relationship is completely attainable. If you want to be that #relationshipgoals couple, here are 5 essentials for having a healthy relationship.”

What It Really Means to Have a Supportive Partner “Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you felt supported? When was the last time you felt safe, at home, encouraged, and able to be 100 percent yourself? If your partner creates a safe space for you to do this, then you are truly blessed. If not, have you ever wondered why you don’t feel safe, supported, and loved? … I didn’t need someone who would wallow in self-pity and negativity with me, as previous partners of mine had done. I needed someone who would inspire me to be the best person I could be and show me that if I picked myself up, everything would work out just fine.”

Want a Better Relationship? Ask Your Partner This Question “‘How are you feeling?’ In eight years of marriage, it was the question Sunshine Spoils Milk blogger Kimberly Zapata never thought to ask her husband. The duo had been together since they were high school sweethearts clutching hands in the hallway. Then one day, in their early 30s, they found themselves sitting across from a marriage counselor. Zapata was convinced the marriage was over.”

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In this week’s blog, we asked what do you reap when you take a leap in your relationship? Here are several different ways of looking at that question.

Conscious Relationships: A Path for Growth and Personal Transformation “A conscious relationship comprises a path for growth and personal transformation that is seen by some as a spiritual calling. The partners in a conscious relationship are committed to the radical practice of love. They are not trying to extract love, approval or security from their partner, but instead seek to behave lovingly toward each other. In conscious relationships, each partner is committed to their own growth and to the growth of their partner over and above maintaining the relationship, per se.”

Use Positive Psychology to Transform Your Relationship in Four Steps “Everlasting love can be more than just something you see in Disney movies – if you master four habits from the field of positive psychology. That’s according to a husband and wife team who’ve spent the last decade researching positive psychology and working on a book trying to distil the secrets to relationship success into bite-size rules. “Promoting a healthy (rather than an obsessive) passion, cultivating and prioritising positive emotions, taking time to mindfully savour experiences together, and seeking out strengths in one another.””

To love is to nurture: The secret to real relationship transformation “Stop saying ‘I love you.’ And start saying, ‘I will nurture you.’ Shocking right? Yet when you give this one a try; the results will speak for themselves. From the first session I invite couples to lay down the word ‘love’ and instead use the word ‘nurture’. When we say we want someone to love us, we actually mean we want someone to nurture us.”

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In this week’s blog, we write about truth and white lies in your relationship. Here are some links to some interesting studies and thoughts on this topic.

Little White Lies: How Dishonesty Affects Intimate Relationships “Whatever the type of lie or reason behind it, when we lie so frequently, we build up a tolerance for lying itself. This means it can become easier to tell bigger lies when we think they’re called for. And while we may tell white lies to protect others, we might also begin to lie more to protect ourselves. This is where the problem begins. We may justify lying to ourselves as lying to protect a relationship, but actually we’re doing it to save our skin.”

Little White Lies: How Dishonesty Affects Intimate Relationships “There are thousands of ways we can deceive one another—and ourselves. On one hand, we can deliberately mislead others to enhance our own personal gain, deny responsibility for having done something wrong, or cheat or steal to get ahead. Then there are smaller fibs—like telling white lies to ease a friend’s distress or displaying confidence in our abilities when we have little to no idea what we’re actually doing. Hey, we’ve all done it. But studies suggest lying can take a toll on our wellbeing and interfere with the quality of our relationships. Time for some real talk about all this deception.”

Even Little White Lies Hurt Your Health “Still, simply because lying has become “common” doesn’t make constant lying “normal.” It’s terrible for your mental health, for one. Something you may have become immune or numb to is that sick feeling inside yourself when you tell a lie. That’s your conscience telling you, “This is wrong and you shouldn’t be doing it.” Depending on the lie, that sick feeling can grow. Over time, it can become a constant knot in the pit of your stomach or cause you to lose sleep or trigger depression.”

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In this week’s blog, we write about spreading peace in all relationships. Here are some great links reinforcing the idea.

Love And Making Relationships Work “On the fifteenth anniversary of 9/11, I had a discussion on my radio program with Austin yoga teacher, Jonathan Troen, about the anxiety and anger all around us that was palpable on that day, as well as throughout this election cycle. “Peacefulness starts from inside of us and then spreads. It’s contagious, just like anxiety,” said Troen. The solution, he told us, is to find a way to create tranquility within ourselves, such as through practices like meditation, yoga, or Tai-chi, in order to create peacefulness in the world. Coming from a place of stillness within helps us to make better decisions about how to overcome any obstacles in our environment and our interactions.”

15 Simple Ways to Spread Happiness and Kindness Around You “A very simple way to spread more happiness in your own little world is through kindness. It’s often an easy and quick thing you can do as you move through your daily life. But we sometimes forget about it. Or don’t remember how it can help us all. Three things that I like to keep in mind and that help me to try to be a kinder person are these:”

4 Ways to Spread Peace in Your World “No matter how comfortable our lives might be materially, we can still suffer internally, unhappily living out our lives depending on the tide of our circumstances. Peace and happiness isn’t about having everything we want, but being deeply moved by the gratitude for being able to experience life. One of the best ways to spread peace in the world is to recognize your own capacity to bring peace into the little things you do every day. For, as Annie Dillard so beautifully says, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.””

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In this week’s blog, Phil writes about optimism in life and relationships. Here are some links that are clear about the benefits of an optimistic outlook.

The Benefits of Looking on the Bright Side: 10 Reasons to Think Like an Optimist “Having a cheery disposition can influence more than just your mood. “People who are optimistic are more committed to their goals, are more successful in achieving their goals, are more satisfied with their lives, and have better mental and physical health when compared to more pessimistic people,” says Suzanne Segerstrom, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Kentucky. Research shows that people tend to be optimistic by nature, but what if you’re naturally more of an Eeyore?”

How Hope and Optimism Affects Romantic Relationships “What role do hope and optimism play in romantic relationships? What happens when hope fluctuates or when one partner is more optimistic than the other? The work of Eshkol Rafaeli, the professor of psychology at Bar-Ilan University, looks deeper at how hope works for couples, especially as they have their first child.”

Matchmaking Tips: How Optimism can Improve your Relationship “For years, relationship gurus, psychologists and matchmakers have recommended more optimism in relationships. Couples who proactively practice an optimistic attitude are happier, more willing to try new things, and not afraid of what the future holds. Thinking on the bright side might seem impossible, especially if one or both of you are not optimistic by nature. Don’t worry! Our matchmakers have compiled a guide to help you harness the power of optimism and bring it into your budding relationship.”

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