Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

By Posted on Posted in Presence, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating

This week, we said why it’s important to be fully present in your relationships. Here are some thoughts to that topic.

The Quality All Healthy Relationships Share “Of course, emotional availability involves listening, but it also includes being in tune with your partner’s desires, wishes, and thoughts. Those who are emotionally available are predictable and stable in their emotional responses, validate your experience (even when they disagree with your stance), and take feedback in healthy ways. They also share their thoughts and feelings with you and don’t shy away from tough conversations. Gaslighting, dismissiveness, and manipulation are emotionally damaging behaviors that they don’t do.

How to Be More Emotionally Available in Your Relationships “To say a person is emotionally available means being present in a way that goes beyond physical proximity. It’s about being open to truly understand, empathize, and reciprocate the emotions of others,” explains Joel Frank, PsyD, clinical psychologist and owner, Duality Psychological Services. “It refers to our ability to share an emotional connection with others and to be open to receiving their emotions in return,” he adds.

Cultivating Intimacy and Communication through Mindfulness “Being present in a relationship means being fully engaged and attentive to your partner. This means setting aside distractions and focusing on the moment, paying attention to what your partner is saying, and actively listening to their thoughts and feelings. This type of presence helps to create an environment of open communication, trust, and understanding.”

By Posted on Posted in Peace, Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with ,

This week, we wrote about how to experience peace in your relationships. Here is some advice from other writers on this important subject.

10 Ways to Have Peaceful, Loving Relationships “…this is not a post about romance. It’s about any relationship—with your brother, your mother, your coworker, or your friend. Relationships are not easy. They mirror everything we feel about ourselves. When you’ve had a bad day, the people around you seem difficult. When you’re not happy with yourself, your relationships seem to be lacking. If you’ve ever gotten in a fight only to find yourself wondering what you were really upset about, this post may help you.”

The Secret to Peaceful Relationships “There was a time when it was very easy for me to be disappointed by other people. I can’t tell you how many times I would feel angry or let down when someone failed to do what I wanted them to do or what they agreed they would do. I would sometimes be filled with strong, uncomfortable feelings in these situations. In addition, as you might imagine, this propensity brought friction into my friendships and other relationships as I even complained to these unwitting perpetrators that they shouldn’t have done what they did.”

The Secret to Peaceful Relationships “There was a time when it was very easy for me to be disappointed by other people. I can’t tell you how many times I would feel angry or let down when someone failed to do what I wanted them to do or what they agreed they would do. I would sometimes be filled with strong, uncomfortable feelings in these situations. In addition, as you might imagine, this propensity brought friction into my friendships and other relationships as I even complained to these unwitting perpetrators that they shouldn’t have done what they did.”

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By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with , , ,

In this week’s blog we wrote about the three things that every person wants in their relationships: acceptance, appreciation and acknowledgement. Here is what other people have written about these, sometimes choosing slightly different A-words.

The 3As in Relationship Success: Acceptance, Appreciation, Acknowledgement “This is when being able to fully accept your lover is essential. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say, do, or believe. But you have to know that this is who they are. They are not you and for some people this can be upsetting. I know, hard to believe, but it is amazing how many people come into my office wanting me to change their partner — make them understand how incorrect they are in their beliefs and actions. This is non-acceptance at its highest form.”

How To Be An Adult in Relationships – Give The Five A’s of Love “It’s important to know that we never out grow the need to receive attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing.  Giving and receiving the Five A’s of love in your relationship with your significant other can not only bring you closer, but can reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and help fill the void created by childhood relationship trauma. Set an intention to give and receive these dimensions of love in your partnership, marriage or next dating relationship and see how this approach may help improve your relationship and how you feel.”

The 5 As of a Loving Relationship “Ask anyone to describe a loving relationship, and the answers you get will vary enormously. But some things pop up again and again. For David Richo in his book ‘How to be an Adult in Relationships’, there are five key elements that all healthy relationships need attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing. I love discussing these with clients and exploring how each are showing up in their relationship.”

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By Posted on Posted in Reading, Relationships, Successful Relating Tagged with , , ,

This week, we wrote about why it’s important to support each other in your relationships. Here are some articles that explore how support contributes to a healthy relationship.

The Importance of Supporting Each Other in a Relationship “Being supportive does not mean doing anything for your partner that makes us uncomfortable. It doesn’t also necessarily mean that we need to try and solve other people’s issues. Part of being supportive is to be really present and a good listener, to not constantly stand in judgment and actually have a sincere and caring disposition. To really hear and understand what the other person is communicating and not allowing our own stuff to get in the way. When someone truly loves and supports you, they will challenge you, stand beside you when you need them and give you space to be yourself and grow as a person.”

12 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship “The importance of doing things together and allowing and supporting each other’s personal growth in a healthy relationship is two-fold: It allows you both to share the things you love with each other, and it gives you the space to be supportive even when something doesn’t fully align with your own individual interests.”

What It Really Means to Have a Supportive Partner “’The best possible thing you can get out of a relationship is that you’re with someone who encourages you to be the best version of yourself every day.’ ~Nishan Panwar. Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you felt supported? When was the last time you felt safe, at home, encouraged, and able to be 100% yourself? If your partner creates a safe space for you to do this, then you are truly blessed. If not, have you ever wondered why you don’t feel safe, supported, and loved?”

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This week, we said it’s important to feel the connection in your relationships. These authors examine what constitutes emotional connections, and how to sustain them.

The Importance of Connections on Our Well-Being “Making healthy connections goes beyond simply avoiding feelings of loneliness and isolation. Our relationships impact all dimensions of our well-being, including physical and mental health and our ability to flourish at work and in every other facet of life.”

How to build emotional connection in relationships ”An emotional connection is a special bond that we have with those we know or admire. It’s more than talking about surface level topics, like the weather or what you had for lunch. An emotional connection is  about sharing feelings, being vulnerable, seeking to understand each other, and meeting one another with trust. Having an emotional connection isn’t just about talking either, it’s about feeling close, valued, and cared for by the other person. It’s that comforting feeling you get when you know someone’s there for you, truly listening, and being willing to understand your emotions. Being emotionally connected to a person is about being there for each other through the good times and the hard times. This connection builds trust in a relationship, making it stronger and more meaningful.”

Relationship Connection: 3 Choices that Make or Break It “When partners are emotionally available and are able to discuss both the good and bad things in life, the couple’s attachment bond creates a safe haven that makes both partners feel safe, calm, and emotionally connected. This loving relationship gives us a secure base to expand our sense of self and increase our confidence… When our partners are emotionally unavailable or verbally attack us, our hearts begin to panic. Our thoughts make movies of our partner abandoning or rejecting us… As a result, our attachment alarm goes off, and we either demand they meet our needs or withdraw from the relationship, putting the bond into a toxic tailspin of panic and insecurity.”

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