Do you believe that in order to have honest and true relationships that you have to fight and suffer and slog through tons of drama? Do you push and shove at each other, glorifying this way of interacting as the …
Why You Don’t Need to Suffer and Struggle in Your Relationships Read more »
PHIL: In our book, individuality and acceptance have different chapters, but as we came to put together a course, we found that the two are so intertwined that we needed to put them together into a single session. So today …
How Can Relationship Differences Lead to Peace, not Anger or Resentment? Read more »
PHIL: Maude and I have been together for 16 years; my half-dozen previous relationships lasted no more than three. I described this to Maude on our second date, and she thought to herself that was because I hadn’t met her. …
Do You Want a Peaceful Relationship? Yes, You Can Have One! Read more »
We were contacted this week by a reader asking about the difference between an argument and a disagreement because the distinction was causing confusion between her, her husband and their adult daughter. These words mean different things to different people, …
How To Avoid a Disagreement Becoming an Argument Read more »
What makes a disagreement turn into an argument? Why do couples frequently have the same fight over and over and get progressively estranged from each other? What can we do to avoid these types of exchanges? The main ingredient in …
How to Dissect the Arguments in Your Relationship Read more »
One of our readers was sharing our blog with a friend and wrote, “Love their blogs, though they make it seem easier than it is.” This is something we have heard before, and we would like to address it. What …
Plenty of relationship advice says that conflict in a relationship is inevitable and healthy. We disagree on both counts. It may just be a matter of semantics. If it amounts to a statement that people shouldn’t suppress their feelings, we …
How to Understand that Disagreement Need Not be Conflict Read more »
PHIL: Some writings have seared themselves into my brain. One was Games People Play. It was the first time I had met the idea of unconscious motivations, and also of being direct with people. Another was Be Here Now, the …
Relationship Differences Can Be Valuable and Important Read more »
Maude offered to watch the grand-kids for a week, taking her away from the house except for school hours. The day before she was leaving, we were edgy with each other. Don’t ask what it was about. I think it …
Truth Will Transform the Arguments in Your Relationship Read more »
We were both touched by a letter we received describing a marriage where the writer is criticized over many small things by their spouse. They weren’t seeking advice, just sharing, but it reminded us of a couple we have recently …