This week we are continuing our discussion on the differences between us and how we handle them, differences that have come up as a result of Phil’s recent illness. Handling larger differences is a stage of Our Process. You can …
Avoid Fear and Attachment in Your Relationship Conflicts Read more »
Phil: When we were writing the newsletter last week, Maude complained that I was irritated and impatient. I wasn’t fully conscious of that until she pointed it out. A lot of the technical aspects – for example, photo production – …
Have you ever placed one hand flat on the table and smashed it hard with a hammer? Thought not, and that was because you chose not to. That is the same reason we never argue – because we choose not …
Many people write about conflict in relationships: how it’s bound to happen, how it’s better than letting things stew, how to fight fairly, how you must counterbalance it with good aspects of the relationship. But here’s the thing: we don’t …
It was a year after meeting that we noticed we hadn’t had any arguments, and 10 years on from that, it’s still true. Let us clarify our terms here. We have disagreements – things where we have different points of …
How to Have a Relationship Without Anger and Arguments Read more »
When we tell people we never argue, they don’t call us liars to our face, but there is often a strong whiff of incredulity in the air. It’s not that we agree on everything, but these disagreements don’t descend into …
What Is the Difference Between Disagreeing and Arguing? Read more »
What is it about being right? Why are we all so obsessed with the need for it? Is this really what we want in a relationship, in a conversation, when making decisions and finding solutions? Being right – it’s the …
I’ve been thinking quite a lot about the discussions we’ve had recently concerning power struggles within a relationship. We’ve been talking about John Gottman’s book “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail“. He observed many couples in terms of their conflicts and issues …
How to Avoid Power Struggles in Your Relationship Read more »
One-third. That’s the weekly squabbling rate according to a poll released last month. I’m not surprised, just saddened, because it doesn’t have to be like this. I like to illustrate this with a simple situation which can stand in for …
One-third of couples squabble weekly, poll finds Read more »
Our latest article “The Myth of Inevitable Conflict within a Relationship” was just published in Awareness Magazine for May/June 2014. It’s now also available as an audio file.