There are multiple ways to solve a problem. Once you share the same values with someone, you can deal with decisions and disagreements without generating rancor, and by exploring, you can find a solution that works for both of you.
A close relationship is fundamentally different from others as it is built upon openness and honesty, both in sharing and accepting. This creates trust, which allows you to be more open, which creates more trust, and so on. When you are not actively creating conflict, you can actively create peace.
Understanding the quality of uniqueness holds a key for peaceful relating. There is only one of each person. That means that each of you has contributions and insights and ways of being to offer that can only come from you, and the same for each other person.
For the last few weeks, we have been writing about subtle aspects of peaceful relationships. It is now time to describe the five principles for creating peaceful relationships, of which these subtle aspects are a part. These are: Knowing and …
Peace is sometimes regarded as an absence or a state of inertness, like the peace of the dead, but thinking that way obscures that it is an actual experience. Just as you can be in a state of agitation, worry or panic, you can also be in a state of peace.
Coming to terms with the fact that people are different from you can be a challenge. An important way to treat differences is to see their benefits. They bring diversity and broaden the possibilities available to you. They add to what you have, rather than taking away.
How do you develop trust in a relationship? Regardless of how another behaves, there is always an important option open to each of us, and that is to be trustworthy. We can bring the behavior of how it is when someone can be trusted into each and every relationship.
In society, we hide our true selves. We put on our public face; we don’t say how rude that was or where to shove that job. Maybe these social graces are necessary for society to work, or maybe they are just the social norm, but we mostly follow them so we fit in. We were taught this from childhood on, and now it’s second nature. But in a relationship, this doesn’t serve you well. To the extent that you keep a part of yourself private, you reduce trust and intimacy.
We are firm believers that we can change the world by spreading peace one relationship at a time. What seems to make a profound difference is the true understanding that we are all unique individuals and at the same time we are all connected in a familial way.
Experiencing the moments as they present themselves (pun intended!) brings peace and harmony to life and to relationships. This is one of the underlying practices that creates the peaceful harmony we experience.