Reading Corner

Links related to the weekly posts.

 

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In this week’s blog, we wrote on what active listening can do for your relationship; here are some articles that help with understanding what is involved.

Deep Listening in Personal Relationships “One study conducted by Faye Doell (2003) showed that there are two different types of listening: “listening to understand” and “listening to respond.” Those who “listen to understand” have greater satisfaction in their interpersonal relationships than others. While people may think they might be listening to understand, what they’re really doing is waiting to respond.”

Practicing Active Listening Can Improve Your Relationship “In this article, I am going to highlight what active listening entails. If you find yourself thinking you and your partner have communication problems, and aren’t quite sure about how to fix them, I want you to know that practicing active listening can greatly improve how you communicate and will ultimately help your relationship.”

Why and How Active Listening Skills Can Improve Your Relationship “One way to become a better listener is to practice something called active listening. Usually when people have a conversation, part of their minds are elsewhere. They may be distracted by something they have to do after the conversation or, instead of listening attentively, they are thinking of what to say when it’s their turn to talk, like a counterargument.”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote on how to freshen up your relationship; here are some articles with various ideas about that.

Creative Things to Do in Your Relationship/Marriage to Keep It Interesting “I know firsthand from having been with my spouse in a relationship for nearly ten years (married nearly seven years) that you need to constantly find ways to keep your relationship strong and beating with enthusiasm. It’s easy to let it fall through the cracks when you have kids, a career and other obligations to tend to but that’s why making a point to work on it is vital to its survival.”

5 Tips for Healthy, Loving Relationships “Romantic relationships, in all of their complexity, are a fundamental component of our lives. And as the poet Rainer Maria Rilke mused, “There is scarcely anything more difficult than to love one another.” What makes a good relationship? Holly Parker, a clinical psychologist and instructor of the course The Psychology of Close Relationships, offers her advice on how to have healthy and loving romantic relationships.”

21 real couples reveal how they keep the spark alive in their relationship “Anyone who’s in a relationship wants to know the secret recipe to making their love last. And while everyone’s relationship is different, there is something to be learned from those who have managed to keep the spark alive for years or even decades. INSIDER asked real people in real relationships what they do to keep their partnerships exciting and healthy. Their advice was heartwarming, informative, and, at times, surprising.”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote on how to be both together and separate in your relationship. Here are some articles to that topic.

Time Together vs. Time Apart: Which Is More Important? “How much time should a couple spend together? Apart? That’s the tug and pull of many couples. Too much time together could make one partner feel suffocated. Too much time apart could make one partner feel isolated.”

The 10 Secrets of Happy Couples “There is no substitute for shared quality time. When you make a point of being together, without kids, pets and other interruptions, you will form a bond that will get you through life’s rough spots. Time spent together should be doing a shared activity, not just watching television. Perhaps going against conventional wisdom, spending time apart is also an important component of a happy relationship. It is healthy to have some separate interests and activities and to come back to the relationship refreshed and ready to share your experiences. Missing your partner helps remind you how important he or she is to you.”

Why Every Couple Should Have Individual Alone Time “Being one half of that perfect couple… the couple still in the honeymoon period, years after that first passionate kiss. Having that long-lasting relationship, where you still lust after one another like lovesick teenagers. It’s what every man and woman dreams of… and I had it. The secret ingredient to being that constantly smitten couple was actually hidden in the time we spent apart. Here, I’ll explain exactly why that’s so important:”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote about how sexuality can unify body, mind and spirit. Here are some articles commenting about different aspects of this topic.

5 Signs You’re In A Highly Sacred Relationship “On some level, every relationship is sacred as it holds opportunity for us to grow. However, there’s something distinct about the intimate relationship shared by lovers. Our partners are not defined by genetics or familial bonds. We’re not necessarily thrown into proximity by way of work or school environments. We choose willingly to enter into relationship with them. In addition, there’s the added component of physical intimacy. Here are five characteristics of healthy, sacred relationships:”

Spiritual Sex: Ecstatic Love Beyond The Physical “I’m not at all pessimistic about the possibilities of lasting sexual love, but I do believe we are looking in all the wrong places. We cannot mandate thrilling, connected sexual encounters and just because one is married and “should” be having lots of fulfilling sex, doesn’t make it so. The fact is we do not have any idea just how deep and all encompassing sex can be because we are stuck with a model of sex that I call, “The Performance Model: Sex equals intercourse”: the goal of sex is orgasm, and great sex is a virtuoso performance.”

Why Sex is Sacred? “Our language suggests that once upon a time, Western Civilization understood the sacred nature of sex. This wisdom was lost during the Inquisition, in fact, one might say that this was the purpose of the Inquisition: To create a cultural shift from sex as sacred to sex as sinful, as the movie, Dangerous Beauty, beautifully demonstrates. Now it is time to return to the ancient wisdom of worshipping life rather than death. Or as we said in the sixties, ‘Make love, not war.'”

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In this week’s blog, we wrote that knowing yourself is important for your relationship, and we’ve found some very good articles about this – so many that we picked four this week.

Know Yourself? 6 Specific Ways to Know Who You Are “This blog will reveal 6 elements of self-knowledge that can help you understand your own identity. As you live your daily life, you can look for clues to these important building blocks of Self. But first, why is it important to know yourself?”

Knowing Yourself: How to Improve Your Understanding of Others “Developing a better understanding of yourself may also improve your capacity to better understand the thoughts and feelings of other people, a new study from Germany suggests. Researchers found that adults who participated in a psychology-training program to enhance their “perspective-taking” … became better at understanding themselves as well as understanding others, according to the findings published…in the Journal of Cognitive Enhancement…. all things being equal, more people are undone by behavioral issues than by anything else.”

The Right Way to Get to Know Yourself “To put it rather indelicately, many self-help books attempt to provide remedies for scraping away the sticky build up from the business of everyday living in order to reach an Authentic Self. But I fear the quest for an Authentic Self is as likely to succeed as a quest to capture a unicorn.”

People Don’t Actually Know Themselves Very Well “the truth is that no one has perfect self-awareness—you probably believe more than a few things about yourself that are false. Sixteen rigorous studies of thousands of people at work have shown that people’s coworkers are better than they are at recognizing how their personality will affect their job performance.”

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