For the last few weeks, we have been writing about subtle aspects of peaceful relationships. It is now time to describe the five principles for creating peaceful relationships, of which these subtle aspects are a part. These are: Knowing and …
Peace is sometimes regarded as an absence or a state of inertness, like the peace of the dead, but thinking that way obscures that it is an actual experience. Just as you can be in a state of agitation, worry or panic, you can also be in a state of peace.
Coming to terms with the fact that people are different from you can be a challenge. An important way to treat differences is to see their benefits. They bring diversity and broaden the possibilities available to you. They add to what you have, rather than taking away.
How do you develop trust in a relationship? Regardless of how another behaves, there is always an important option open to each of us, and that is to be trustworthy. We can bring the behavior of how it is when someone can be trusted into each and every relationship.
In society, we hide our true selves. We put on our public face; we don’t say how rude that was or where to shove that job. Maybe these social graces are necessary for society to work, or maybe they are just the social norm, but we mostly follow them so we fit in. We were taught this from childhood on, and now it’s second nature. But in a relationship, this doesn’t serve you well. To the extent that you keep a part of yourself private, you reduce trust and intimacy.
We are firm believers that we can change the world by spreading peace one relationship at a time. What seems to make a profound difference is the true understanding that we are all unique individuals and at the same time we are all connected in a familial way.
Experiencing the moments as they present themselves (pun intended!) brings peace and harmony to life and to relationships. This is one of the underlying practices that creates the peaceful harmony we experience.
Total acceptance is the defining difference between not just experiencing better relating, but for a living peace that provides deep soul satisfying relationships. This is a radical concept, yet once understood, it can become a very natural way of being with another.
Recognizing someone else’s world is different is how you have a successful relationship. When you realize their life and desires are just as deep and valid as yours, then you realize that trying to change it would be just as unpleasant as if they started telling you what to do.
PHIL: We say that the essence of a successful relationship is having similar core values; recognizing that everyone is a unique individual, and joyfully accepting those differences; and a non-confrontational approach to handling differences. There are a number of other …
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